BASKETBALL
“My lawyers have informed me to refrain from using the common idiom ‘BANG, BANG’ as it’s no longer a good look for me.”
–Ja Morant, continuing to own guns
“Marcus and Jasmine will go down this year. That’s two.”
–Michael Jordan, on which of his children have been instructed to go into cardiac arrest in response to Bronny James’ heart attack
“It’s what anyone would do.”
–Draymond Green, heroically rushing into a burning building before finding an NBA Center trapped under rubble who hadn’t been punched in the face yet
LeBron Asks Bronny If He Wants To Go For Quick Helicopter Ride After Disappointing Performance
LeBron To Spend Offseason Rehabbing Injured Ego
After a season of hairline cracks to his confidence, sprains to his self-entitlement, and completely shredded dignity, LeBron James plans to spend this offseason rehabbing his badly injured ego. The
Top 10 Slovenian Basketball Players To Watch In This Year’s Olympics
The world is on pins and needles waiting to see what the mighty monsters of the Slovenia men’s national basketball team will do to the competition in the Olympics. Look
2021 Olympic Basketball Kicks Off With Stirring Tribute To The Many NBA Players Who Couldn’t Be Bothered To Show Up
In a touching display of affection after a difficult year, the tip-off to the 2021 Olympic Basketball tournament was preceded by a tasteful tribute to the many NBA players who
NBA Finals Prediction: Charles Barkley Enjoys Hotel Buffet
The stage is finally set for the NBA Finals, and while the series could go any way given how the playoffs have already unfolded, we’re comfortable making one bold prediction:
Does MJ At 58 Still Have What It Takes To Punch Steve Kerr?
Look, we get it. The man is 58 years old. He hasn’t played professional basketball since 2003. Decades of smoking cigars and drinking whiskey have turned him soft and doughy.
LeBron Lives Up To ‘King James’ Nickname By Releasing His Own Authorized Version Of The Bible
LeBron James announced today in a press conference held on the parapets of his new $36.75 million castle in Los Angeles that he has taken his talents to biblical scholarship
ESPN Holds Hour-Long Special For LeBron James To Announce Whether His Ankle Is Sore
In a dramatic hour-long special televised last night on ESPN, coveted Lakers superstar LeBron James redefined the NBA injured reserve landscape when he announced whether or not his ankle remains
Here’s What We Know About LeBron’s Trade Possibilities After Making Them Up
With the NBA season behind us, it’s time to ramp up the conversation around possible trades that could happen in the association, more specifically the trade rumors we made up