BASKETBALL

“Well they don’t work that good, I’ve fucked my bed 14 times already.”
–Anthony Edwards, on the Olympic Anti-Sex beds

Injury Report: Not-Caitlin-Clark Out For Season
BREAKING: Sports Riot has just been informed by the @wnba ‘s league fax machine (their only outbound communication device) that Not-Caitlin-Clark is out for the season. “Our hearts are broken

23AndMe Traces 67% Of World’s Lineage To Single Source
Scientists at the genetic testing site 23andME made a groundbreaking announcement this week, claiming to have found that a whopping 67% of the world’s population are direct descendants of a

The Other Side Of The Story: Our Exclusive Interview With Ja Morant’s Gun
Ja Morant has been embroiled in non-stop controversy since entering the League. Culminating in suspensions after brandishing a gun, multiple times, on Instagram Live. Sports Riot managed to track down

Opinion: You People Are All Worthless – By: Larry Bird
First let me begin with: Happy Father’s Day. Thank you for voting me as “Father of the Jump Shot” and putting on this vast event where I can address all

Report: Caitlin Clark Proud To Be Only Woman Americans Currently Care About
WNBA superstar Caitlin Clark expressed her heartfelt honor today in being crowned the only woman Americans currently care about. The Indiana Fever guard took to Instagram to share her gratitude

Opinion: Oh, You Support Women’s Sports? Name All 48 WNBA Teams
With the influx of new so-called “fans” watching the WNBA, we’ve been challenged as WNBA loyalists, to weed out the bandwagoners from the true believers. Do YOU even care about

Breaking: Cavaliers Announce Stadium Water Finally Drinkable!
The Cleveland Cavaliers have announced after years of hearing fans and player feedback, they have finally made their stadium water drinkable. “It is with great pleasure that Quicken Loans Arena

Adam Silver Celebrates 675th Birthday In Translyvanian Castle
Surrounded by his players, loved ones, and dozens of brooding oil portraits of his ancestors, NBA commissioner Adam Silver celebrated his 675th birthday at his family’s Transylvanian estate last Friday.







