Articles
Everyone’s A Winner! NFL To Donate Unused Championship Merchandise From Losing Team To Aaron Rodgers
While professional football is filled with positive messages of teamwork and endurance, one unfortunate drawback is that not everyone can be a champion. The losers walk away feeling less special
75-Year-Old Tom Brady Travels Back In Time To Warn Self Not To Retire Before Hitting Prime 2034
Emerging from a Lombardi Trophy-shaped time machine moments before Tom Brady took the field during the Super Bowl, a disheveled 75-year-old Tom Brady reportedly warned his past self not to
65-Year-Old Harkens Back To The Who’s Legendary Halftime Performance From 10 Years Ago
Upon awakening in his chair from his daily, albeit spontaneous, afternoon nap, 65-year-old grandfather of four, Tyler Lang, waxed nostalgic over The Who’s legendary Super Bowl Halftime Show from 10
It’s Modern Times: Why Can’t I Take A Steam Locomotive To The Super Bowl?
In so many ways, we are living in the future. When I got up this morning, the modern world’s explosion of music options meant that I was able to peruse
Super Bowl Commercial Just A Commercial
Despite hundreds of thousands of write-ins expressing their life-changing experiences as a result of harrowing stories of life, loss and grand achievement, the NFL released a joint statement Friday that
Brady or Mahomes: Who Would You Rather Kiss In The Moonlight?
Okay, readers, I have a confession: I haven’t kissed any professional quarterbacks yet, and, like, yeah, I know it’s a big deal, but I just want to be special, that’s
Roger Goodell Asks Adam Silver For Secret To Befriending Black Athletes
Boldly crossing league lines, NFL commissioner Roger Goodell asked NBA commissioner Adam Silver for the secret to how he got black athletes to like him and want to be his
Dad Teaches Son Everything He Doesn’t Know About Football
A heartwarming yet confusing scene unfolded in suburban Portland this past weekend as a well-meaning father mistaught every facet of football to his beloved son, according to sources within the
Trick Play Blown Up By Well-Placed Land Mine
Yesterday, North Canyon High School ran an explosive trick play to win a critical game against the Milbrook Bobcats and keep their playoff hopes alive. While some may question Coach
Quarterback Rankings Clearly Not Factoring In Hotness
As a football fan, I’m getting a little tired of these so-called “data-driven” lists ranking QBs when it’s clear that their hotness isn’t even entering the equation. Yeah, they show
Risky: We Let This All-Pro Punter Hold Our Dog
It started off like any other Saturday. Then, we took a stroll to the dog park and… Jeremy Ferstein, ten-year NFL punting veteran, approached complimenting Trixie, our adorable bichon frise.
Man Binges Last 58 Super Bowls To Catch Up To Current Season
Attempting to get caught up on all the previous seasons to avoid spoilers before this year’s Super Bowl, local man Ed Taylor is binge-watching the last 58 Super Bowls. Taylor,
Patriots Attempt First All Drone Roster
The Patriots always seem to find themselves one step ahead of the competition. Now after 20 years of unmatched success, the six-time Super Bowl champions are looking for help from