Articles
Five Facts About Tom Brady You Can Casually Mention To Your Husband To Remind Him What A Sack Of Shit He Is
If you’re anything like us you’re constantly searching for ways to help your man improve himself, but there is so much misinformation out there. Fear not, we waded through the
How To Talk To Your Wife About Incorporating More Fantasy Football In The Bedroom
Admit it, your love life is stale. You and your partner haven’t changed the scoring system or used advanced analytics in years. That’s why we’ve created a comprehensive Sports Riot
Cleveland Browns Look To Take A Quarterback In 2021, 2022, 2023, 2024, 2025, 2026 Draft
Noting that it’s just a way of life at this point, the Cleveland Browns stated that they are looking to take a quarterback for next year and every year following
Mike McCarthy Caught Completely Off Guard By Quarterback Asking Him For Help
Dallas Cowboys Head Coach Mike McCarthy, fresh off drawing up a play during midweek practice, presented his work to his team. Right after drawing the Receiver Route, McCarthy was totally
We Ran It Through An Algorithm: Here are the 218,938,134 Different Super Bowl Scenarios
After our third year of rolling out our algorithmic program, Dalton-Beta-Crest-1100, we knew we were onto something when last year it tabulated 39,383,700 possible scenarios and all of them involved
Tom Brady Requests Trade To New England
After spending his time testing the waters as captain of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, veteran quarterback Tom Brady has decided to embark on an exciting new stage of his career,
Richard Sherman Convinced Government Tracking Him Through Giant Chip On Shoulder
In response to repeated questions from reporters about the large, unmistakable chip on his shoulder, 49ers cornerback Richard Sherman posted a video on Instagram claiming that the chip is a
Nihilist NFL Offensive Coordinator Couldn’t Care Less How Many Points They Score Because The Great Game Of Life Ultimately Has No Points
Nihilist Offensive Coordinator Chris Perlman addressed the press ahead of the upcoming season, saying he doesn’t care how many points the team scores under him because points, like life itself,
Jim Nantz Freaked Out After Tony Romo Predicts His Death
A harrowing moment occurred at the announcers’ booth during this past Sunday’s NFL On CBS broadcast, as famously accurate color commentator Tony Romo proceeded to forecast to a visibly-shaken Jim
New York Jets Predicted to Win 13 Games in 2019-2022 Seasons
The New York Jets are primed for momentous progress as analysts project the team to win 13 games from the 2019-2022 seasons. “Don’t look now, but surging from way at
NFL Ratings Drop After Addition Of Wednesday Morning Football
Ratings continue to plummet for the NFL’s Wednesday Morning Football, which airs at 7:00 a.m. EST on CBS between two reruns of ‘Dr. Phil,’ and have managed to drop to
What Ace Ventura: Pet Detective Got Wrong About Kidnapping Dan Marino
How many could we list? A lowly local pet detective would have access to Dan Marino like that? These kidnappers were found by a guy with that hair? The kidnappers’
TCU Rules Man-To-Man Defense An Affront To God
In a surprise ruling, this Tuesday TCU athletic director Jeremiah Donati has decreed that all forms of man-to-man defense are an abomination in the eyes of God. “When God revealed