BASKETBALL

“Oh… oh, God. Don’t say that. That’s so depressing.”
–Evan Mobley, upon being told he’s the hottest thing in Cleveland right now

“If it’s so easy, then why do I keep kneeing myself in the face?”
–Shaquille O’Neal, on riding a bike

Michael Jordan Claims 100th Consecutive One-On-One Victory Against Make-A-Wish Kids
Further solidifying his status as the greatest basketball player of all time, this Saturday Bulls legend Michael Jordan set the world record for most consecutive one-on-one victories against terminally ill

“Extreme Basketball!” Shouts Vince McMahon Frantically Searching For Piece Of Paper
According to numerous witnesses present at the local Starbuck’s yesterday, WWE executive and XFL founder Vince McMahon, a patron during the morning rush, suddenly shouted “extreme basketball” before hurriedly looking

It’s Time To Make The Three-Point Line Invisible
So I’m sitting in my man-cave, Rockets are playing the Jazz [some rerun from 2019 on ESPN even though I haven’t watched the NBA in years] and I see this

Underrated: Forfeiting At Halftime
In sports, we talk a lot about “overrated,” such as: overrated teams, overrated stats, or Tony Romo. But that begs the ultimate question, what about the most underrated and under

Road Team Finally Guesses Arena WiFi Password
After several attempts to gain access into Safeco Field’s WiFi network, the visiting Orlando Magic finally figured out the password that had eluded them in previous trips to the Barclays

Ranking The Top NBA Players Of All Time Currently On The Memphis Grizzlies
Figuring out the top NBA players of all time currently on the Memphis Grizzlies roster is a difficult task for most any sports publication – but not us. Here’s how

What The Bulls’ Legacy Would Have Looked Like Without Jordan Or Pippen Or Rodman Or If The City Of Chicago Didn’t Exist
The ‘90s Bulls were a dynasty, but what would their legacy look like without superstars Michael Jordan or Scottie Pippen or Dennis Rodman or if the city of Chicago didn’t

Next Year’s NCAA Basketball Schedule Has Duke Playing UNC Every Week
Following a disastrous season in which ratings and revenues hit historic lows, the NCAA has announced plans to recoup its losses by updating next year’s college basketball to include a






