Articles
Roller Hockey Team Loses Fifth Consecutive Game To Oncoming Traffic
The Lake Lions continue to slump. The local street hockey team suffered their fifth straight loss to Oncoming Traffic today in front of three passersby at Two Lane Road Arena.
NHL Promises Fans Next Year’s Rinks Will Be Slipperier Than Ever
Speaking to reporters last Tuesday, NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman laid out a list of sweeping changes which would be implemented at the start of the 2022 NHL regular season, chief
Partisan Sports Fan Not Focused On What’s Best For Both Teams
Roger Carlson is like millions of other middle-class sports fans. He enjoys a good plate of wings, a cold beer, and keeps up to date with the news. But, unlike
Cleverness Of Vegas Knights Wearing Off
Failing to hide their shame, the so-called marketing gurus from Golden Vision Inc, who coined the name for the NHL expansion team in Las Vegas, the Golden Knights, have collectively
Hear Us Out: NASCAR But With Magic Boxes Hiding Secret Weapons
In the 72 years since NASCAR was founded, the organization hasn’t changed much at all. If they want to have any hope of keeping pace with more entertaining sports like
Analytics Added To Golf In Attempt To Make Sport Even More Boring
Speaking in front of PGA Tour headquarters outside of Jacksonville, Florida, commissioner Jay Monahan announced a striking set of changes to the way the game would be played, noting that
Racism Over: This Golf Ball Is Black
For nearly 400 years, systemic racism has oppressed and killed hundreds of millions on golf courses across America. No more. Thankfully, Titleist has created a United States Golf Association-certified black
Senior PGA Tour Put On Hold After Yet Another Caddy Run Over By Golf Cart
When the PGA Department of Motor Vehicles approved golf carts for players over age 50, they sought to provide the game’s legends with a sense of independence as they sailed
If We Allow Two Zambonis To Resurface The Ice, What’s To Stop Them From Getting Married?
We at Sports Riot pride ourselves on our forward-thinking attitude. Whether it’s defunding the Dallas Cowboys, adding grenades to baseball, or even treating Bills fans like real people, we’re always
Base Jumper Saves Parents Thousands On Casket
Recent college graduate Ethan Swanson gave an early retirement present to his parents yesterday when the 22-year-old novice BASE jumper accidentally plunged to his death at the Grand Canyon, in
Rags-To-Riches Skateboarding Phenom Recalls Practicing In Empty Above-Ground Swimming Pool
Although her life is now filled with only the finest of hand-crafted cement bowls, pro skateboarder Emily Nakahara’s claims she never would have become skating’s ‘Grand Governess Of Gunite’ were
Meet The Billy Beane Of Archery
Fresh out of Oakland, California, bow-jockeys and fletch-heads across the country are going crazy for a new and unlikely hero, whom many have already crowned the “Billy Beane” of competitive
Amazing: This Former Olympian Found A Job
In a stunning and rare turn of events, a former Olympian has landed a job despite having no skills or training applicable to the real world. Following the footsteps of