Articles
American Pharaoh Stripped Of Triple Crown After Oil Test Reveals He’s Actually a 2014 Nissan Pathfinder
The National Thoroughbred Racing Association has stripped American Pharaoh of his Triple Crown after oil tests revealed the horse, who ran a record 118 mph, is actually a 2014 highway
Confused Trump Throws Out First Pitch At Indy 500
A confused President Donald Trump kicked off the opening ceremony of the Indianapolis 500 by throwing out the first pitch. “It was a strike. A very good strike,” the 45th
NASCAR Crew Chief Instructs Driver To Veer Left Every So Often
Following months of intensive research at his team’s testing facility, 15-year NASCAR Crew Chief Ronnie Gerhard emerged from the lab yesterday to share his new data-driven game plan with star
Great Athlete Wastes Talent On Cirque Du Soleil
Despite possessing an NBA-caliber 45-inch vertical leap and having the core strength of an Olympic gymnast, all-rounder Cristiana Barrios continues to waste her athletic talents performing nightly as an Acrobatic
America Exchanges Four Women’s World Cups For One Men’s Title
Parade planning is already underway for the U.S. Men’s Soccer team. America has formally exchanged four Women’s World Cups for one Men’s World Cup, and now the celebration for the
Black NASCAR Driver Loses Lead After Being Pulled Over During Race
Black NASCAR driver, Troy Smith, lost his sizable lead during Sunday night at the Atlanta Motor Speedway after being pulled over just twenty minutes into the race. Hampton Police Sergeant
Mom Preaching Sportsmanship Just Doesn’t Get It
The rest of the Riedman family could be seen rolling their eyes on Sunday, as matriarch Loretta Riedman launched into yet another impassioned, hopelessly-misguided speech about the importance of good
ESPN Accused Of Sexism After Not Including Any Women In NFL Player Rankings
Missing the mark yet again, ESPN drew ire for failing to include a single women in their annual NFL player rankings. Many are calling the complete omission of women from
New York Islanders Begin Long, Perilous Voyage To Mainland For Season Opener
Raising their blue and orange sails and pulling out of the North Atlantic archipelago they call home, the New York Islanders have reportedly began their long, annual pilgrimage to the
BREAKING: “Cool Runnings” Playing On Channel 47
Multiple sources have confirmed that director Jon Turtletaub’s legendary sports film, Cool Runnings, is currently airing on Channel 47, prompting pause from Americans nationwide as the 1993 classic captivates millions
“U-Woof-C” Championship Match Shut Down Immediately By FBI
The filming of U-Woof-C 241, the acclaimed Animal Planet companion to ESPN’s UFC 241 slated to debut this Saturday, was stopped within the first thirty seconds when FBI agents stormed
Locker Room Language Taken Way Too Far When Man Mentions “Equality”
All men learn from a young age that the locker room is a sacred place, a holy shrine to masculinity. That is why it came as a shock to members
Opposing Player Deemed Not Too Injured To Laugh At
After concluding that an injury suffered by the opposing team’s star player didn’t look that bad, hometown fans say they felt comfortable enough this past Saturday to laugh openly at