Articles

Getting Back To It’s Roots: 2021 Olympics Will Encourage Athletes To Be Naked And Invade Sparta
In a bid to return the games to their former glory, the International Olympic Committee announced that Tokyo athletes will be encouraged to compete naked, as well as invade the

Gold Medal Replaced With Dogecoin
Since the inception of the modern Olympic Games, gold medals have been awarded to the first place winners of every event. However, the International Olympic Committee has decided to do

Hear Us Out: The 2021 Olympics But Russia Is Allowed To Compete Under Its Own Name And Putin Gives Me My Wife And Children Back
The world’s trust was shattered when the World Anti-Doping Agency accused Russia of altering thousands of test results and banned the country from using its name or flag in the

Japan Vows All Olympic Village Sexual Encounters Will Be Pixelated
Officials for the Tokyo Olympics announced today that they plan to pixelate the hundreds of thousands of sexual encounters that are anticipated to take place at the Olympic Village between

Top Five Non-Crash NASCAR Moments Of All-Time
NASCAR has given us countless adrenaline-packed life or death moments through the years, but believe it or not, there are also several amazing moments that didn’t result from crashes. We

Is America Not In Europe Enough For Formula 1 Snobs?
Despite the fact that Formula 1 has been acquiring more and more fans in the United States, any blue-blooded, Coors-Light-shotgunning American who’s ever tried to get into the sport can

45-Year-Old Caddy Swore This Would Just Be A Summer Job
Despite swearing that his job at Ridge Country Club would only be for the summer in between freshman and sophomore year in high school, friends of Chet Richards say the

Physicists Discover Secret To Making Speed Skater’s Bulge Completely Aerodynamic
In a breakthrough that promises to revolutionize the world of speed skating, researchers at MIT’s distinguished Department of Bulge Studies have finally discovered a way to make the unwieldy crotch

Planet Fitness Founder Reveals There Really Is A Planet Called “Fitness” Where Everything Is A Disgusting Shade Of Purple
The founder of Planet Fitness stunned the world today by revealing that there actually is a planet called “Fitness” several light-years away from the Milky Way galaxy where everything is

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Law & Order: SVU Announces Crossover Episode With NBC’s Olympic Coverage Of Women’s Gymnastics
NBC announced in a press release this Friday that they will be producing a two-week crossover event between “Law & Order: Special Victims Unit” and the network’s coverage of women’s

Animal Rights Activists Protest Longtime San Jose Tradition Of Throwing Great White Sharks Onto Ice During Games
Calling the practice “barbaric” a local chapter of the ASPCA has taken to picketing all San Jose Sharks home games at SAP Center to protest the longstanding fan tradition of

How To Host The Perfect Stanley Cup Viewing Party Without Wayne Gretzky Bursting In Uninvited And Criticizing All Of The Plays
The stage is nearly set for the Stanley Cup final, sure to be a grueling series with show-stopping glove saves, mesmerizing toe drags, and unannounced cameos from the Great One
