Articles
What “Happy Gilmore” Got Wrong About PGA Sanctioned Golf Fights
While the PGA recognizes that “Happy Gilmore” is the most realistic film depicting the lives of professional golfers — from their arrogance towards commoners to their undermining of non-Christians like
Family Minature Golf Outing Perfect Opportunity For Dad To Educate Son On Committing White-Collar Crime
Son, I didn’t just bring you out here today to enjoy nine whimsical holes on this championship miniature golf course at Pirate Pete’s Putt-Putt Palace. You’re what, nine years old
Hockey Ratings Finally Topple “Mike & Molly” Rerun
In a development sure to excite NHL executives, last night’s hockey game finally surpassed a TBS rerun of the sitcom “Mike and Molly” in the ratings. A source within NHL
This Year’s Swimsuit Issue Promises 153 More Tits!
We at Sports Riot have obtained an advance copy of the “Sports Illustrated Swimsuit 2023 Editor’s Letter,” detailing the magazine’s “big developments” for this year’s issue. We have published the
Kurt Cobain’s Corpse Blows Its Head Off Again After Hearing Of Seattle Kraken’s Use Of Nirvana Song To Celebrate Goal In Amazon’s Arena
With the lights out, it’s less dangerous/ Here we are now, entertain us/ I feel stupid and contagious/ Here we are now, entertain us/ A mulatto, an albino, a mosquito,
Girl Power! Watch The USWNT Absolutely Destroy Yet Another Scrappy Women’s Team From An Oppressive Third-World Country
Highlights from today’s amazing blowout against the small island nation of Tuvalu in the South Pacific prove the US Women’s National Soccer Team has racked up another courageous win for
The Best Jockstraps To Buy If Your Penis Is Really Just Three Little Penises Stacked On Top Of One Another In A Trench Coat
Finding the perfect jockstrap for one penis is hard enough, but what if you’re special and your penis is really just three little penises stacked on top of one another
Next Pandemic Traced Back To Whatever’s In This NASCAR Chili Dog
The CDC reported Sunday to have traced the cause of the next pandemic to whatever is inside this NASCAR chili dog. The health agency sent a team of leading
“You Can Do It” And Five Other Lies Personal Trainers Tell
Most people think a personal trainers job is to train customers to become stronger and fitter, but really, they only have one job: To lie. Here are some of the
Karate Chop Voted Greatest Move In History Of Combat Sports
After a decade-long study of kung fu masters, coaches, and the best fighters across disciplines, the greatest move in the history of combat sports has finally been revealed: the karate
It’s Time For Swimmers To Get Out Of The Pool And Get Into This Dangerous River
It’s high time for swimmers to graduate from the gentle waters of indoor swimming and begin the practice of racing each other in the real thing—a class IV rapids river.
History Of Sand Trap In Golf Linked Back To Single Apathetic Groundskeeper
Golf has always had a storied past, ranging from farmers hitting rocks with sticks all the way to today’s modern masterpiece of ball striking. However, until now, little was known
Racehorse Disowns Son For Pursuing Dressage
Former racehorse and local hero, Blackfoot Delight, formerly disowned his son, Pancake, for rejecting the world of racing in favor of the art of competitive horse dancing known as “dressage.”
