Articles

Amazing: This Athlete Just Broke An Oddly Specific And Completely Unheard Of Record
Another incredible day for the game of Tennis. Up and coming star Domantas Sabes cemented his name in the annals of a particular subsection of history by shattering a morbidly

Maintenance Guy Finally Has Time To Fix Stadium’s Applause-O-Meter
A maintenance worker in Geneva, Illinois finally had a chance to fix the clearly broken applause-o-meter at the Kane County Cougar baseball stadium after it had been stuck on a

Sports Gambler Ruins Space Time Continuum Betting On Self To Bet
In a move that physicists and bookies alike are calling “dangerous” and “irresponsible,” lifelong gambler Mackenzie Kesselman destroyed the space time continuum when betting on himself to bet. “I just

Hear Us Out: NASCAR But With Airplanes
NASCAR is a beloved sport, but it’s overdue for a major, and quite frankly, obvious upgrade. The way we see it: NASCAR is the finest sport in human history, but

If This Is Such A Big Game, Where The Hell Is Bob Costas?
If this is such a big game, where the hell is Bob Costas? The pre-show-pre-game, no Bob Costas. The pre-game, no Bob Costas. The introduction to the game, NO BOB

Horse Puts Injured Jockey Out Of His Misery
A local racehorse had to make the agonizing decision to put down her jockey today at Churchill Downs racetrack following a devastating injury. Racehorse Boston Baked Bean discovered her jockey,

Area Man Missing Sports Promises To Not Take Hockey For Granted Again
“I remember scrolling for sports on my channel guide and finding a listing called NHL Hockey. I never clicked on it,” Michael Macy, a local sports fanatic, says. “Now, I’d

Hot Take: Don’t Bring Back Hockey
Thanks to the indefinite suspension of the NHL season, society has gotten a taste of a world without hockey. After this eye-opening experience, it’s clear that when Coronavirus dies out,

Gymnast’s Parents Can’t Believe They Invested 14 Years For A Bronze
After spending the past 14 years of their lives spending countless hours and tens of thousands of dollars, Matt and Jane Travnik have expressed outrage that their daughter, Olivia, only

Professional Darts Player Scores World’s First Tranquilizer Endorsement
After a breakout rookie season, professional darts phenom Frank McCullough has reportedly signed the world’s first ever tranquilizer endorsement. The seven-year, $97 million endorsement deal with Bayer, in addition to his tournament winnings,

GNC Announces Shift To Steroid-Only Business Model
While professional athletes continue to prove that anabolic steroids are the only way to excel in sports, consumer demand for the drug has finally outpaced that of all other nutritional

Coronavirus Forces Bullfighters To Murder Bulls Without Audience
In a tragic turn of events, social distancing measures have forced Spanish officials to ban audiences from bullfights, devastating the millions of bloodthirsty fans who enjoy watching animals be taunted

Pro Guns? Sounds Like A New Sport To Us
America loves high-powered sports, and since most sports use guns anyway, it was inevitable that we finally have a space dedicated to developing and celebrating Pro Guns. The founders of
