Articles
‘Air Bud: Fur-mula 1’ Goes Through Record 30th Stunt Dog
It doesn’t say anywhere in the rule books that a dog can’t drive a car, but at least for union officials at SAG-AFTRA, there might be a rule soon, as
Cult Starting To Feel Like A Yoga Class
As concerned initiates of the Sacred Messengers of Isaiah religious cult were silently led from the Main Compound into an indoor dance studio smelling suspiciously like patchouli oil, they noted
We Give Up: What Do YOU Think Happened In Tennis This Week?
We turned on tennis last week and we’ll admit it: intrusive thoughts of driving our Volvo Hybrid off local cliff “Satan’s Gorge” dominated our cerebrum. So. Here we are. Did
Report: Edmonton Oilers To Be Electric By 2040
Coming off the heels of a Stanley Cup Finals loss to the Florida Panthers last night, the Edmonton Oilers have announced a brighter, newer future. In an effort to become
Sorry Lovers: Fuckmonster Gritty Announces Engagement To Green M&M
Philadelphia’s most eligible Sex God, Fuckmonster Gritty, is off the market. Gritty, King of Mascots (KoM), has made public what we at Sports Riot have speculated for weeks: Gritty and
How You Can Help Us Get Hockey Canceled
Earlier last week our editors tasked us with writing a side article on “professional ice hockey.” We’d thought it disbanded in 1921 but were presented data of “The Stanley Cup”
To Maintain Views For The Big Fight, Jake Paul Calls Out Goku
Jake Paul, in lieu of his postponed fight with Mike Tyson, has challenged the next greatest fighter on Earth: champion of the 23rd World Martial Arts Tournament and Super Saiyan,
In Memoriam: The NHL 1917 – 1924
Today marks the 100 year anniversary of the death of the greatest “hockey” league the world had ever seen. The NHL, or “National Hockey League,” in its time was reportedly
You Asked, We Ignored: Here Comes More Horse Content!
In anticipation of last week’s Kentucky Derby, we here at Sports Riot spent several months preparing appropriate content. We spoke to the owner of Mystic Dan about the art of
Winning Kentucky Derby Owner Credits Success To Picking Right Two Horses To Fuck Each Other
The 150th Kentucky Derby took place at Churchill Downs today, with Mystik Dan coming out on top. And when Lance Gasaway, Mystik Dan’s owner, was asked what he credited most
Down To Earth: These Champion Thoroughbreds Eat From A Slop Bucket, Just Like You And Me
One would think Kentucky Derby superstars like American Pharaoh, Wise Dan, or California Chrome would look down their white-striped noses at anything less than the finest apples and oats. But
Quiz: Are You Wealthy And Inbred Enough To Sit In The Front Row Of The Kentucky Derby?
This year’s Kentucky Derby promises to attract all sorts of folks to Louisville’s Churchill Downs, but only a select few have what it takes to nab front-row seats. Here’s a
“It’s Masters Week” And 5 Other Phrases To Get The Whites Excited
The Masters tournament begins. Can you smell it in the air? The whites can, and they are “jazzed!” Are there other phrases like “it’s Masters week” that will get the
