Articles
Ref Enters Review Booth To Settle Argument With Wife
Referee Brian Barnes was forced to enter the review booth earlier today after his wife, Denise, threw a red flag after Brian claimed she never asked him to take out
Study: Gender Disparity In Sports Journalism Linked Back To Most Women Not Wanting To Waste Their Lives
The “Harvard Business Review” released a study Thursday attributing the current gender disparity in sports journalism to women not wanting to completely waste their lives on trivial and inconsequential nonsense. The study
Eco Win! Qatar Debuts Soccer Stadiums Built Entirely From Recycled Bodies
In one of the boldest moves yet to counteract climate disaster, the president of Qatar’s Government Development Bureau, Rizwan bin Nasir Al-Fayyad, announced on Thursday that all World Cup stadiums
The Top 5 Exercises To Turn That Dad Bod Into An Infertile Wasteland
That beer belly of yours sure isn’t thinning! We say it’s time you ditch the soft, pudgy Dad Bod and instead crater it into the horrifying, completely impotent modern art sculpture that will make her
From Gymnastics To Golf: We Rank The Best Sports You Can’t Afford To Play
If you’re poor gutter trash like us at Sports Riot and don’t make seven figures a month, here’s the top five sports your trailer-park piece-of-garbage-ass shouldn’t even fantasize about playing:
Girl Power! Watch The USWNT Absolutely Destroy Yet Another Scrappy Women’s Team From A Third-World Country
Highlights from today’s amazing blowout against the small island nation of Tuvalu in the South Pacific prove the US Women’s National Soccer Team has racked up another courageous win for
Report: Everyone In Yoga Class Way Ahead Of You
We’re coming to you live from the Bikram Wellness Center on Ventura Blvd., – where honestly – you don’t stand a chance to finish this yoga class. Tonight’s guest yoga
Opinion: Drop And Give Me 20
A lot of self help “experts” will tell you thousands of ways to improve yourself. Reading, meaningful relationships, talking about feelings. I’m here to tell you that’s all goddamn nonsense.
The Best Jockstraps To Buy If Your Penis Is Really Just 3 Little Penises Stacked On Top Of Each Other In A Trench Coat
Finding the perfect jockstrap for one penis is hard enough, but what if you’re special and your penis is really just three little penises stacked on top of one another
We Rank Each ESPN Analyst Based On How Long We’d Wait Before Pulling Them From A Burning Car
An SUV full of ESPN analysts just collided with an overturned tanker truck and is now engulfed in flames. The fire department is twenty minutes away, so we’ve taken this
NASCAR Disbands After Nissan Leaf Makes It Through Qualifying
The organization formerly known as NASCAR disbanded Thursday following the qualifying of its first-ever Nissan Leaf. The Daytona 500 takes the top 42 qualifiers of Bluegreen Vacations Duel’s 150-lap race;
Next Global Pandemic Traced Back To Whatever’s In This NASCAR Chili Dog
The CDC reported Sunday to have traced the cause of the next pandemic to whatever is inside this NASCAR chili dog. The health agency sent a team of leading scientists
Brother-Sister Figure Skating Duo Definitely Fucking, Right?
The other day, I was sitting in my home, enjoying figure skating like all red-blooded American men do. Tragically, my joy quickly dissipated when a tandem of brother-sister figure skating