Articles
Planet Fitness Founder Reveals There Really Is A Planet Called “Fitness” Where Everything Is A Disgusting Shade Of Purple
The founder of Planet Fitness stunned the world today by revealing that there actually is a planet called “Fitness” several light-years away from the Milky Way galaxy where everything is
AD: Click Below To Enter Slim Jim’s Golden Jerky Wrapper Contest To Win A Chance At Looting Macho Man Randy Savage’s Grave
Hey you! Snap into a Slim Jim for the once-in-a-lifetime giveaway! Click below and enter for a chance for you and a friend to find the golden jerky wrapper and
Law & Order: SVU Announces Crossover Episode With NBC’s Olympic Coverage Of Women’s Gymnastics
NBC announced in a press release this Friday that they will be producing a two-week crossover event between “Law & Order: Special Victims Unit” and the network’s coverage of women’s
Animal Rights Activists Protest Longtime San Jose Tradition Of Throwing Great White Sharks Onto Ice During Games
Calling the practice “barbaric” a local chapter of the ASPCA has taken to picketing all San Jose Sharks home games at SAP Center to protest the longstanding fan tradition of
How To Host The Perfect Stanley Cup Viewing Party Without Wayne Gretzky Bursting In Uninvited And Criticizing All Of The Plays
The stage is nearly set for the Stanley Cup final, sure to be a grueling series with show-stopping glove saves, mesmerizing toe drags, and unannounced cameos from the Great One
After A Hockey Game Ends, Who Drinks The Melted Ice?
Listen. Everybody knows that hockey teams cook the pucks and donate them to food banks after each game. But what happens to the ice that gets melted every time? Who
Disney Announces “Angels In The Octagon”
Disney announced this week that its new “Angels In the Octagon” will be set in the popular cage-fighting world of mixed martial arts. Billed as a ‘spiritual sequel’ to the
Quiz: Are You A Zamboni Or Golf Cart?
Take this short quiz to find out if you’re totes a Zamboni or rocking more of a golf cart vibe. Be sure to share your results in the comments!
Hear Us Out: Golf But Minaturized And Filled With Unexpected Obstacles
While watching golf the other day, it dawned on me that golf has a lot of room for improvement. Luckily, I’ve a solution: a miniaturized variant filled with unexpected obstacles.
Oh Goddam It: Ironman Contender Accidentally Left Bike All The Way Out In Middle Of Ocean
Furiously and repeatedly asking himself if he really just fucking did that, Ironman contender and own harshest critic, Ivan Vanhanen, had barely finished removing his wet suit when he realized
Simone Biles Generously Folds Self Into Overhead Bin For Sold-Out Flight
United Flight 447 broke out into cheers Thursday when four-time Olympic gold medalist Simone Biles generously gave up her seat on the overbooked flight and instead folded herself into the
Pro Skater Invents Sick New Way To Rupture Spleen
Not since Tony Hawk blew away the skating world in 1999 when he debuted the craziest way to shatter your ankle has the pro skating world seen such an important
Star Hockey Player Tired Of Getting Benched 37 Times A Game
Insisting that his stupid head coach just doesn’t understand the fundamentals of hockey, University of Michigan star forward Aiden Alexander during an postgame interview voiced his displeasure at getting benched
