Articles

Racehorse Disowns Son For Pursuing Dressage
Former racehorse and local hero, Blackfoot Delight, formerly disowned his son, Pancake, for rejecting the world of racing in favor of the art of competitive horse dancing known as “dressage.”

Man U Battles Man City In Manliest Soccer Match Ever
Are you and your bros looking for a brotrip where you can brodown? Well, settle down Brocahontas, because on FeBroary 12, Man U is battling Man City in the manliest

Olympic Diver Sure Can Fold Good
Have you ever seen Olympic divers dive into pools? You’ll notice that they sure can fold their bodies good. This is especially true of current day Olympians like David Boudia

Everyone Shut The Fuck Up: A White Man Needs To Hit A Tiny Ball In A Big Green Park
Dear Guests, Everyone who thinks it’s okay to be running their mouths right now needs to realize what’s happening and shut the fuck up. If you haven’t noticed, a white

Heartbreaking: Lacrosse Teammates Barely Call Each Other “Bro” Anymore
What’s in a name? Is that which we call a bro by any other name still super sweet? That is what the world, more specifically the Lacrosse world, is wondering

Professional Caddie Great At Having Shoulders
The golfing world rejoiced this past Thursday as professional caddie John Clarkson was awarded the holiest of all recognition from his ball-striking superiors. The “Shoulders Plaque” couldn’t have been given

Desperate Fan Cheers On Haircuts At SportClips
After several agonizing months of crowd bans at sports arenas and stadiums across the country, one local fan desperate to attend live events has resorted to cheering on haircuts at

Hear Us Out: The MLS But With Women
With its breakout names such as Carlos Vela and Landon Donovan, and the acquisition of other late-stage superstars such as David Beckham, Major League Soccer has been gaining steam over

City Of Las Vegas Wakes Up From Three-Day Bender To Find Receipts For Six More Professional Sports Teams
After a wild three-day weekend, the Las Vegas city council reportedly awoke from their collective bender with receipts for six more professional sports franchises. “One minute I’m at a happy

City Of Dallas Collectively Learning It Has A Hockey Team
The entire population Of Dallas, Texas has been shocked to learn of the existence of a non-football sports team called the Stars, which has represented the city since 1993 after

Amazing Female Competitor Somehow Holding Her Own Against Male Spellers
Approaching the final round of the National Spelling Bee, fans remain taken back by the amazing female competitor who is somehow holding her own against her more muscular and chiseled

Waterboy Tired Of Hearing About La Croix
Longtime Dallas Waterboy Ben Morrow has been supplying water in various containers for most of his life but he has reached a tipping point. Morrow, a 30 year Hydration-veteren, is

Skip Bayless Rushed To Hospital As Blood Pressure Drops Below 280/120
In a worrying sequence of events, FS1 commentator and beloved sports personality Skip Bayless was quickly taken to Cedars-Sinai Emergency Medical Center in West Hollywood on Tuesday, after collapsing on
