BASEBALL
Rain Delay Causing MLB Commentator To Improvise Most Incoherently Racist Tirade Of His Life
“I think my translator was confused.”
–Shohei Ohtani, on why he agreed to pitch, DH, and play outfield
“My dad gave me tons of pointers growing up. At least that’s what he would call the injections.”
–Kody Clemens
“I go to a cave and I train, quietly, ravenously, ferociously, only leaving when I smell honey.”
–Nick Bosa, on his weight lifting regimen
Dad Can Make Your Wedding Now That The Phillies Aren’t In The World Series, But He’s Pissed Off
After a tough game 4 loss to the Dodgers, your devoted Phillies fan and bandwagon father has finally RSVPed to the wedding invitation you left for him with Mom five
Prospect Of Mariners In World Series Has Seattle Resident Too Excited To Sleep Under Bridge
After 24 long years, the Mariners have made it past the first round of the MLB playoffs, reaching an ALCS against the Toronto Blue Jays in what many Seattle superfans
Apology From Our Editors: Lou Gehrig Didn’t Die From ALCS
We no longer consider ourselves the luckiest people on the face of the earth as The Sports Riot editorial team would like to issue a sincere correction regarding a long-standing
Cubs Honor Ryne Sandberg By Not The Winning World Series This Season
Following the death of Hall of Fame second baseman Ryne Sandburg in July, the Cubs decided to dedicate the 2025 season to honoring old “Ryno’s” legacy. The entire organization, in
Paul Skenes Youngest to 200 K’s And 200-Loss Season
2025 has seen its share of bizarre stats, including four players with four-home-run games, a catcher vying for the home-run title, and a pitcher-slugger who could take his third consecutive
Report: Shortstop Spends Countless Hours Looking For Shortstop Base
Rookie shortstop Cal Vega of the Everett (WA) Aquasox has spent significant time this season searching for what he calls the “shortstop base.” Vega, who began playing late in high
Hear Us Out: Do Away With Catchers And Just Let The Ball Hit The Ump
We’ve all been there: bottom of the 6th, down $80 betting on the jumbotron hat game, home team losing by 4 and the ump calls an obvious slider down the
Stadium Vendor Unsuccessfully Attempts To Start ‘Hot Dogs!’ Chant
Seen but not heard. That’s the unspoken credo of the hot dog vendor. Get the meat to the people without disrupting the game. Unless you’re Ed “Big Dog” Miller, it’s
