BASEBALL
“I think my translator was confused.”
–Shohei Ohtani, on why he agreed to pitch, DH, and play outfield
“My dad gave me tons of pointers growing up. At least that’s what he would call the injections.”
–Kody Clemens
“I go to a cave and I train, quietly, ravenously, ferociously, only leaving when I smell honey.”
–Nick Bosa, on his weight lifting regimen
Oakland Athletics Discretely Reach Out to Las Vegas To See If They Want A Baseball Team
After rumors circulated around the MLB owners’ lunch table last Friday, it has been confirmed that the Oakland Athletics discretely asked the city of Las Vegas if they wanted to
San Diego Padres Hoping Possible Trip To Playoffs Will Reunite Them With Estranged Hijos
Claiming that things were finally turning around for them, the San Diego Padres expressed optimism that they could use the travel from their potential playoff berth to once again get
San Francisco Giants Hire Machine-Learning Algorithm As New Manager
The tech-savvy San Francisco Giants hired a machine-learning algorithm as their new manager this week, fresh off its successful stint at the Giants’ Triple-A affiliate, Uber. GM Scott Harris was
Misleading: ‘Great’ American Ball Park Filled With People From Cincinnati
Imagine my surprise while on my “Great American Road Trip” to experience all the “great” things America has to offer, like the Great American Bagel and Six Flags Great America,
MLB Issues Apology After Barry Bonds Diagnosed With Rare Head-Growing Disease
Fourteen years after his retirement, Major League Baseball has issued an apology to all-time home run leader Barry Bonds after his confirmed diagnosis of an extremely rare head-growing disease. The
10 Best Nipples In Major League Baseball
From the delightfully perky to the downright concave, it’s no secret that the MLB has given the sport’s many male-chest-area enthusiasts a plethora of exciting nipples over its 150-year history.
Pitcher’s Parents Worried Son Experimenting With Cutter
After bursting in on their son watching an illicit video and gripping a baseball in that unmistakable way, parents of a high school baseball star are worried their son has
American Family Field Vows To Crack Down On Sober Fans
Following a statewide referendum in support of public decency, today the Milwaukee Brewers declared their commitment to cracking down on sober fans. Although only a handful of sober fans have