BASEBALL

“Can baseball cure cancer?”
–Max Scherzer, before hitting and killing a child chemo patient with a 98 mph fastball

Paul Skenes Youngest to 200 K’s And 200-Loss Season
2025 has seen its share of bizarre stats, including four players with four-home-run games, a catcher vying for the home-run title, and a pitcher-slugger who could take his third consecutive

Report: Shortstop Spends Countless Hours Looking For Shortstop Base
Rookie shortstop Cal Vega of the Everett (WA) Aquasox has spent significant time this season searching for what he calls the “shortstop base.” Vega, who began playing late in high

Hear Us Out: Do Away With Catchers And Just Let The Ball Hit The Ump
We’ve all been there: bottom of the 6th, down $80 betting on the jumbotron hat game, home team losing by 4 and the ump calls an obvious slider down the

Stadium Vendor Unsuccessfully Attempts To Start ‘Hot Dogs!’ Chant
Seen but not heard. That’s the unspoken credo of the hot dog vendor. Get the meat to the people without disrupting the game. Unless you’re Ed “Big Dog” Miller, it’s

Second Baseman Wondering If He’ll Ever Get Promoted to First Baseman
When Cincinnati Reds second baseman Nick Gonzales gazes at first baseman Spencer Horwitz, he doesn’t see a double-play anchor. Nor does he see an effective leadoff hitter. When Gonzales looks

Stephen Miller Physically Restrained By Staff As Venezuelan Little League Team Takes Field
Trump adviser Stephen Miller had to be physically restrained by aides Saturday after catching a glimpse of Venezuela’s Little League World Series team taking the field. Witnesses say Miller began

Baseball World Stunned As Orioles Throw Very First No-Pitcher
Looking to stop the most recent skid in what has already been a challenging season, the Orioles have begun running a series of devious gambits. So far these have included

MLB Trade Deadline Passes With Liberation Of Only Three Rockies
The July 31st MLB trade deadline came and went. And with it, the great hope of family and friends turned to deep sorrow as only three Rockies were freed from







