BASEBALL

MLB Commissioner Rob Manfred Institutes Special ‘Five-Strikes-And-We’ll-Think-About-It’ Rule For Players Facing Sexual Misconduct

“At first I thought why is everyone running so slow?”
-Jackie Robinson, on his first game in the MLB

“Players these days should stay humble. The last thing a ballplayer needs is a big head.”
-Barry Bonds

Curt Schilling Threatens To Run For Office Again If Not Placed In The Baseball Hall Of Fame
Curt Schilling, enraged after once again failing to secure a spot among baseball’s immortal, announced his intention in a video to run for Massachusetts State Senate unless “the illegitimate body

Quiz: Is Your Man A Homerun Or A Ground Rule Double?
Look at him just sitting there watching Forged In Fire. He’s your man. But is he the explosive, firework-inducing, over-the-fence homerun type or more of the pretty good, no home

Unwritten Rule?: Does It Say Anywhere Chainsaws Can’t Be Used As Baseball Bats?
When I think of America’s pastime, I think of the smell of fresh ballpark food, the warm sunshine enveloping the crowd, and the roar of a serrated chainsaw blade as

MLB Considering Another Steroid Era
A memo circulating among the MLB and MLBPA this week shows baseball is considering the addition of another steroid era beginning as soon as next season. “The league is essentially

Wife Complains That Husband Spends Hours Wandering Around Target Field
Emily Moeller, a 35 year old Construction Worker, while out with some of her friends, couldn’t stop talking about her husband, Bryan. One of our sources, in Emily’s inner circle,

Kyrie Irving Salivating At Chance To Fuck Up Perfect Situation
Seldom do the stars align in professional sports for players to have the perfect opportunity to accomplish their goals. With the addition of James Harden to the Brooklyn Nets to

Massive Spike In Mets’ World Series Betting Odds Linked Back To Single Sarcastic Reddit Comment
The world of sports betting was thrown a massive curveball recently, and while the recent spike in betting on the Mets’ winning the World Series may have seemed random, research

Hear Us Out: Give PEDs To Home Plate Umpires And Let’s See How Intense Their Calls Can Get
We get it: baseball sucks. Between the slow play scattered over nine agonizing innings to the lack of muscle power from our favorite sluggers, the game needs a drastic shake





