Articles

Heartwarming: NBA Contact Tracing Is Revealing That All NBA Players Are Best Friends With Each Other And Hang Out All The Time
The COVID-19 pandemic has forced millions of friends and family to isolate themselves from one another, but that hasn’t stopped professional athletes from defying the odds and getting even closer.

Villanova, Gonzaga, And Other Gibberish Words We Accept As A Society In March
Can someone please clue me in? It’s March, and I once again find myself baffled by my coworkers using gibberish words like ‘Villanova’ and ‘Gonzaga’ that society just seems to

If We Let College Athletes Get Paid Now, Won’t They Just Ask For Dignity Later?
It’s been a hot topic of debate for many years: should college athletes be paid? As a prominent booster for the distinguished University of Vanderbilt football program, this is something

Holy Fuck: No. 9 See Beats No. 8 Seed
It’s only the first fucking weekend and we already have our ‘oh fuck’ moment of this in-fucking-sane tournament after nine seed Oklahoma State’s fucking monumental upset over eight seed Oklahoma.

Mid-Major Shocks Nation By Winning Their Parents’ Respect
There’s always a Cinderella story in March. This year, an incredible mid-major team shocked the nation by rallying in the first round of March Madness to lose their game, but

Minnesota Timberwolves Add Premium Seating Section Facing Away From Court
Citing a desire to improve the fan experience at the newly renovated Target Center, the Minnesota Timberwolves announced Thursday that they have installed a new premium seating section facing away

The Next Zion Williamson? This 5-Star Recruit Just Received His First Bribe
A 6’6” forward with a 45-inch vertical, high school junior Jeremiah Rooks is starting to generate serious buzz as the next Zion Williamson after receiving a $50,000 bribe from a

Coach Preaching Fundamentals Probably Can’t Dunk
An Atlanta high school basketball coach believes his players must adhere to the basic fundamentals of basketball because he himself can probably not dunk. As a true basketball intellectual, his

Hear Us Out: Basketball But With Power Plays And Players Can Beat The Shit Out Of Each Other
You’ve seen the games—the ticky-tack fouls, the primadonna superstars, the lack of head injuries. NBA players are the softest professional athletes anywhere. But fret not, we have an easy fix:

AT&T Center Down Again
San Antonio’s AT&T Center is currently experiencing its 12th outage this month, causing citizens to lose Spurs connectivity. While customers are attempting to figure out how they’ll find a way

Pathetic: None Of These “Elite 8” Got Into Harvard
The NCAA has given the world this spring a so-called “elite eight,” despite none of the utterly pathetic eight having been accepted into Harvard (like I was in 1987), which

NBA Replaces Games With Three-Point Contests
Following a vote during the annual NBA Owners meeting last Friday, the league has confirmed it will be replacing its current four-quarter-most-points-wins format with three-point contests. “We can see the

Five Iconic NBA Jerseys You Can Wear To Any Funeral
Sporting a sick NBA jersey to a funeral? Talk about a great way to turn some tears into high-fives. Here are the five most iconic threads you can style while
