Articles
Breaking: Cavaliers Announce Stadium Water Finally Drinkable!
The Cleveland Cavaliers have announced after years of hearing fans and player feedback, they have finally made their stadium water drinkable. “It is with great pleasure that Quicken Loans Arena
Adam Silver Celebrates 675th Birthday In Translyvanian Castle
Surrounded by his players, loved ones, and dozens of brooding oil portraits of his ancestors, NBA commissioner Adam Silver celebrated his 675th birthday at his family’s Transylvanian estate last Friday.
An Apology From Our Editors: Coach K Did Not Give The ‘I Have A Dream’ Speech
Unfortunately, we in good conscience, must come clean. You see – sometimes in the rush of the 24-hour news cycle and being first to print, mistakes get made. The editors
Celebrity Sighting! Drake Spotted Watching Girls’ Volleyball Game From Under Bleachers
Volleyball spectators at Carey High School in Buffalo, NY were given a rare treat this past Thursday, as it was discovered midway through the second game of a Junior Varsity
Supreme Court Overturns WNBA
In a landmark decision, the Supreme Court overturned the Women’s National Basketball Association on Friday, declaring the right for women to play professional basketball is no longer federally protected by
March Madness: You’ll Hate Some White Guy From Duke And 5 Other NCAA Predictions
Well America, it’s that time again. It’s March and it’s time for Madness. But, is it really “madness?” Every March the same several things happen over and over again –
Report: United States Willing To Trade Nukes To Serbia For More Nikola Jokics
During a joint press conference with the US Department of Defense and the NBA, the United States today formally announced that they would be willing to trade nuclear warheads to
We Investigate: Why Did The NBA All-Star Game Fail To Heal America?
Despite bringing together the biggest and brightest basketball, social activist, political, and artistic luminaries from all over this great republic for the annual tradition of national healing, this year’s NBA
Report: Top 5 Other Conspiracies Kyrie Irving Also Believes Happened On The Grassy Knoll
Flat Earther Kyrie Irving is the NBA’s conspiracy GOAT. And today, Uncle Drew just dropped another 5 piping-hot-crackpipe conspiracies about that little patch of greenery in Dallas referred to as
An Apology From Our Editors: Wilt Chamberlain Was Not On The Challenger, As Previously Reported
On January 29, 1986, Sports Riot heroically covered the Space Shuttle Challenger’s abbreviated flight and sudden disintegration 46,000 feet above the Atlantic Ocean. Wilt Chamberlain was not, however, on that
We Rank Stephen A. Smith’s Top 7 Personalities
Stephen A. Smith is a man of many personalities. Researchers have concluded he has 472 of them, but we used a psychologist-approved formula to narrow it down to his best
Celtics Player Patiently Explains To His Children Daddy Can’t Be With Them Christmas Morning Because He Has To Go Lose To Milwaukee
Jason Taytum has spent today’s family game night patiently explaining to his kids that he’ll miss Christmas morning again this year, as he’s needed on an important work trip to
Last-Second Shot Clinches DUI
Capping off a real nail-biter last Friday, 28-year-old Jason Fung clinched a DUI with a last-second shot. Although contested by the bartender who’d previously cut him off, Fung juked left
