Articles

Travel Sites Agree: Buffalo Bills Better From The Canadian Side
A study of six separate travel review sites has found that, in almost all categories, the Buffalo Bills are exponentially better when viewed from the Canadian side of the stadium.

Helmet Spoils Perfectly Good Decapitation
The rules on protective headgear for athletes have finally been put on display for the nation to see. Is this what we want? Decapitated football players WITH their helmets on?

Hear Us Out: If You Start ‘Dark Side Of The Moon’ When Cris Collinsworth Slides In, It Lines Up Perfectly With Sunday Night Football, Man
Sit down, pack a bowl, and get ready to have your third eye opened, dude. If you start up Pink Floyd’s Dark Side of the Moon at the exact moment

Sporting Venues Permanently Add Moment Of Silence To Commemorate Future Mass Shooting Victims
In the wake of several mass shootings that have shaken the nation’s morale and sparked debate over how to appropriately memorialize the deceased at sporting events, a growing number of

Report: Corn-Infused Shit Lying In Bowl Of Your Toilet Frontrunner For Lions QB Job
It looks like there’s already a quarterback controversy brewing in the Motor City. According to reporting from ESPN’s Adam Schefter, the corn-infused shit that’s lying in the bowl of your

Report: Rising Gas Prices Force NFL Owners To Jet Pool
With gas prices soaring across the country, the NFL’s billionaire team owners have reportedly turned to jetpooling to battle the rising cost of private jet travel. “Can you believe these

Opinion: Tom Brady Can Come Back From Retirement, So Can My Lazy, 82-Year-Old Father
Tom Brady — Excellence. Dedication. Sacrifice. My 82-year old dad? Lazy. Bottom-percentile measurables. Retired since 2007. Tom Brady was only retired for a month, so I think the fifteen years

4 Key Takeaways From A Wild Night Out With The Guy In The Murray State Mascot Costume
We at Sports Riot like to think we’re a worldly bunch, but nothing could have prepared us for last week’s interview with Dunker the Murray State mascot. Here’s what we

Daniel Snyder Opens Up Franchise Of Scandal Escape Rooms
On top of owning an NFL franchise, the tirelessly creative Snyder has once again profited from his expert-level skill of escaping scandals by opening a chain of team-scandal-oriented escape room

Star Struck: I Just Met Ray Lewis At Knifepoint And Didn’t Know What To Say
It was Friday night in Miami and I rear-ended the Aston Martin in front of me. When I approached the other car to trade insurance information, out stepped former legendary

Adam Schefter Issues Preemptive Apology For Whatever He Says About Next Athlete’s Death
Following public outcry over his tweet about the death of Pittsburgh Steelers QB Dwyane Haskins, ESPN’s Adam Schefter issued a long-awaited formal preemptive apology for whatever he’s about to say regarding the next major athlete death. “Composing a single tweet about an athlete’s death would be

Opinion: Proactive Lions First Round Pick Starts Studying For Real Estate License
Miles Campbell grew up dreaming of playing in the NFL. Now, after the Detroit Lions selected him with their first-round pick, the college stalwart continues to look ahead to his

Debate Time: Tom Brady Vs Joe Montana, But It’s 1792 Japan And They Both Have Throwing Stars
It’s a debate as old as time: Tom Brady vs. Joe Montana. Who would win? Who’s the greatest ever? We know what you’re thinking, dear reader. What if this was
