Articles

CBS Interrupts Broadcast Of Jet-Jaguars Game To Bring You ‘Joe Versus The Volcano’
So you’re thinking about changing the channel, and we get it. Jets-Jaguars? Whose genius idea was it to schedule that on prime time? But stick around because things are about

5 NFL Quarterbacks Who Failed To Help Their Fans Beat Brain Cancer
Seven-time Super Bowl champ Tom Brady helped a 10-year-old fan beat brain cancer this past year. As usual, other QBs have tried to emulate TB12’s accomplishments to lackluster results. Here

How To Support The NFL And Other Small Businesses This Saturday
In the midst of an ongoing pandemic that has impacted small businesses all across the country, it is especially important to support the NFL this upcoming Saturday. We all have a special place

Mahi Mahi And 5 Other Things Only Assholes Bring To Tailgates
The tailgate is a proud, American tradition, but fair warning: if you bring something that screams “pretentious,” your friends are more likely to circle the wagons than hand you a

Rams’ HR Department Horrified To Learn Entire Team Just Walking Around Locker Room Dicks Out And Everything
Emails leaked from the Los Angeles Rams Human Resources Department yesterday underscore the need for a clear, consistent NFL cock policy as the messages indicate the entire team simply walks

We Review The Best Items From NFLShop.Com To Spice Up Your Sex Life
A healthy sex life, much like football, is all about teamwork. When two or more teammates get together to accomplish a mutually pleasurable goal, that leaves both parties satisfied. So,

Asshole Doesn’t Even Wear Eagles Jersey To Daughter’s First Communion
Philadelphia native Tommy Abruzzo turned heads this Sunday when he walked into Old St. Mary’s Catholic Church for his daughter’s First Communion wearing nothing but a blue blazer, mauve tie,

Meet The Armless Quarterback Who Refused To Let His Poor Eyesight Stop Him From Reaching The NFL
Growing up as an armless kid in West Texas, Adam “Four Eyes” Guidroz could only dream of one day overcoming his poor eyesight to play quarterback in the NFL. Today,

Satanic Football Player Points To The Ground After Scoring Touchdown
After scoring the game-tying touchdown, running back Damien Phillips pointed both index fingers towards the ground to honor the great and powerful Lucifer for granting him the ability to win

Is The ‘Fighting Irish’ Mascot Insensitive To Ireland’s Well-Documented History Of Cowardice?
The Notre Dame Leprechaun presents an impossible dichotomy: How in the world does an institution like Notre Dame spit in the face of Ireland’s well-documented history of cowardice by presenting

Aaron Rodgers To Spend Next Offseason In LA Soft Launching New Cult
Calling the move “critical for his physical and emotional healing,” veteran quarterback Aaron Rodgers has announced plans to take time during the NFL’s offseason to become the spiritual and salvational

Lifelong St. Louis Rams Fan Just Wants To Witness One 10.0-Rated Los Angeles Earthquake Before They Die
There’s only one item on lifelong St. Louis Rams fan David Harbrook’s bucket list: to see a 10.0-rated earthquake lay waste to the city of Los Angeles. Writing on his

31-Year-Old Running Back Put Down Following Severe Knee Injury
Sports Riot is reporting that following a severe knee injury during the fourth quarter of Sunday’s game, Minnesota Vikings’ star running back Carter Williams was taken out back by Vikings’
