Articles
Adam Schefter Issues Preemptive Apology For Whatever He’s About To Say About Next Athlete’s Death
Following public outcry over his tweet about the death of Pittsburgh Steelers QB Dwyane Haskins, ESPN’s Adam Schefter issued a long-awaited formal preemptive apology for whatever he’s about to say regarding the next major athlete death. “Composing a single tweet about an athlete’s death would
Proactive Lions First-Round Pick Starts Studying To Get Real Estate License
Miles Campbell grew up dreaming of playing in the NFL. Now, after the Detroit Lions selected him with their first-round pick, the college stalwart continues to look ahead to
Jacksonville Jaguars GM Mulls Over Which Prospect To Ruin With No. 1 Pick
Sources close to Jacksonville Jaguars general manager Trent Baalke have reported that the team seems tantalizingly close to finalizing which college football player’s life they will decide to irrevocably destroy
Finally: The NFL Released a Statement Denying Pat Tillman Died of CTE
Nearly 20 years after Pat Tillman’s death, the NFL has finally clarified the former Arizona Cardinals safety did not die of CTE while on patrol in Afghanistan. Commissioner Roger
Wow! NFL Star Only 3 Yards Away From Breaking Another Restraining Order
Having already smashed the NFL’s record for Class A misdemeanors, wide receiver Cooper Chase stands only three yards away from breaking an incredible eleventh restraining order in a single season.
John Elway’s Dentist Retires At Age 31
After graduating from dental school and putting in five years of constant, round-the-clock work on her only patient, Dr. Maria Otsuka, John Elway’s personal dentist, has announced she will be
Quiz: Which Disappointing NFL Franchise Best Describes Your Sex Life?
Going into the NFL Draft is your sex life more “fourth-and-long” than “Red Zone”? This quiz might not snap your championship draught, but it will shed some light on which
Report: Antonio Brown Beginning To Show Signs Of Early-Onset Being Antonio Brown
According to a report from ESPN NFL insider Adam Schefter, those closest to free agent wide receiver Antonio Brown have privately expressed concern that Brown is displaying signs he may
Uptight Referee A Real Stickler For The Rules
After a long drawn out, albeit in depth, explanation of a little known rule; referee Todd Perkins confirmed the ruling on the field would stand and also confirmed what we
NFL Informs Philadelphia That Games Can Be Enjoyed Without Homicide
The NFL held a press conference in Philadelphia today to persuade the city’s fans that homicide is not necessary to enjoy sporting events. ⠀ The city’s notorious fan base, responsible
Kirk Cousins Refusing To Give Up On Best Buy
Despite shopping fans’ showing an overwhelming preference for the new era of mobile retailers, Minnesota QB Kirk Cousins is refusing to give up on Best Buy, a local downward-trending big
NFL COVID Test Returns Positive For CTE
According to sources close to the Pittsburgh Steelers, the entire NFL has breathed an immense sigh of relief this week after an undisclosed Steelers player’s initial positive COVID-19 test turned
Division III Team Really Playing Like A Division II Team Today
Spectators of the Division III football team Mount Union Purple Raiders were reportedly very impressed by Saturday’s game, saying that they could have sworn that they were watching a D-II
