LESSER SPORTS
NASCAR Would Be Way More Exciting if Cars Raced in a Square
By Bobby “Big Bucks” O’Leary, Sports Riot Senior NASCAR Contributor I love stock car racing as much as the next guy, but after watching these beautiful machines race around in
Satanists Outraged Over Offensive Nature Of New Jersey Devils Mascot
After receiving hundreds of angry letters, emails, and tweets in the past week alone, it has become clear to the New Jersey Devil’s front office that Satanists are deeply offended
Retired Synchronized Swimmer Not Sure What To Do With Newfound Individuality
Newly retired synchronized swimmer Valerie Brandt has admitted she’s unsure how to swim with her newfound individuality. During a one-on-one interview with Sports Riot, Brandt opened up about the challenges
Female Figure Skater Much Colder Than She’s Letting On
Complaining the frigid temperatures caused by the large ice rink were largely responsible for his team failing to win the gold medal, mixed pairs figure skater Lance Stinson believes his
Report: Still Feels A Little Weird Rooting For Germany At The Olympics
Millions of American fans have reported feelings of strange disquiet in their soul after being forced to cheer on the German field hockey team in their last game against Great
Cool Kid On Hockey Team Skips Second Period
By Sam Strahp, Middle School Sports Reporter Top-scoring hockey player and very cool person Trent Villanueva was seen skipping second period during last night’s hockey game, raising significant questions about
WWE Pivots To New Format Where Wrestlers Talk Through Differences
After decades of using violent, chaotic acts to determine the better person, WWE will pivot to a new format where Wrestlers will use their works to talk through their differences.
Ominous Carving In Shawshank Penalty Box Reads “Brooks Was Here…So Was Probert”
While making the rounds at Shawshank Ice Arena last Friday, prison custodian Jason Broton came across an ominous carving outside the penalty box reading “Brooks was here…so was Probert.” “Those
