LESSER SPORTS
“I want to convince my colleagues that some things are more important than money.”
–Tiger Woods, on pussy
“I’d say F1 drivers.”
-Harmanpreet Singh world-renowned field hockey player, when asked which athletes he thinks are the biggest pussies
Quiz: Are You A Zamboni Or Golf Cart?
Take this short quiz to find out if you’re totes a Zamboni or rocking more of a golf cart vibe. Be sure to share your results in the comments!
Hear Us Out: Golf But Minaturized And Filled With Unexpected Obstacles
While watching golf the other day, it dawned on me that golf has a lot of room for improvement. Luckily, I’ve a solution: a miniaturized variant filled with unexpected obstacles.
Oh Goddam It: Ironman Contender Accidentally Left Bike All The Way Out In Middle Of Ocean
Furiously and repeatedly asking himself if he really just fucking did that, Ironman contender and own harshest critic, Ivan Vanhanen, had barely finished removing his wet suit when he realized
Simone Biles Generously Folds Self Into Overhead Bin For Sold-Out Flight
United Flight 447 broke out into cheers Thursday when four-time Olympic gold medalist Simone Biles generously gave up her seat on the overbooked flight and instead folded herself into the
Pro Skater Invents Sick New Way To Rupture Spleen
Not since Tony Hawk blew away the skating world in 1999 when he debuted the craziest way to shatter your ankle has the pro skating world seen such an important
Star Hockey Player Tired Of Getting Benched 37 Times A Game
Insisting that his stupid head coach just doesn’t understand the fundamentals of hockey, University of Michigan star forward Aiden Alexander during an postgame interview voiced his displeasure at getting benched
Orphanages Overrun By Calls For Chess Prodigies
Following the popularity of Netflix’s ‘The Queen’s Gambit,’ orphanages around the globe have been flooded with barren and fertile couples alike in search of their own orphan chess prodigy like
Marathon Winner Has No Idea How To Spend Rest Of Her Afternoon
After winning The Chicago Marathon last week, former Olympic gold medalist Kathrine Switzer told reporters that she has no clue what to do with the rest of her day. “I’ve