LESSER SPORTS

“Uppers for energy, downers for sleep, and Cialis for the restaurant hostesses.”
–Tiger Woods, on his medical regimen

Trump Reminds Foreign Tennis Stars ‘U.S. Open’ Just The Name Of The Tournament
Donald Trump clarified today that the U.S. Open is exactly what it sounds like: a tennis tournament. Nothing more, nothing less. Speaking to reporters outside the White House, Trump reminded

Potential UFC Showdown Would Be First Fight On White House Lawn Since Mamie Eisenhower Beat the Brakes Off Pat Nixon
Donald Trump’s announcement that a UFC fight may be held on the White House lawn has been met with both roars of enthusiasm and sighs of resignation. However, many Americans

NASCAR Driver Banned From School Drop-Off Again
The engine roars. The Castrol Oil logo glistens on the hood. The tires of the baddest, meanest ’94 Chrysler minivan screech. It’s 7am. And ex-NASCAR driver Jeremiah Richard continues to

BREAKING: Stanley Cup Arrested In Florida For DUI
“Do you even know who I am?” slurred the 133-year-old Stanley Cup to a Broward County patrol officer after being pulled over for DUI late Friday night. According to a

Stephen A. Smith Currently Developing First-Ever Hockey Bad Take
Deep inside ESPN labs, legend Stephen A Smith is concocting a take that he says will “stop the world cold.” Sources close to the situation are confirming that Stephen A,

Hear Us Out: ESPN Should Hire One Likable Host
Here we were, scrolling through channels, and we happened to land on ESPN for the first time in a while, and we were caught off guard. It’s like they put

Nashville Predators Open Anonymous Online Chat Room To Talk With Young Fans
The NHL franchise Nashville Predators unveiled a new initiative Monday called “PredatorChat” that has members of the team and organization hosting an online chat room to interact with young fans.

This Day In Sports History: Billie Jean King Defeats Sexism For A Couple Of Hours
Remember sexism? Of course you do: It’s the prevailing law of the day! But what if we told you that on September 20, 1973, for a period of almost two







