LESSER SPORTS
“If you work hard, you too can receive discount 6-inch meatball marinaras for life.”
-Michael Phelps
“We somehow convinced the American public that electrolytes were real.”
-Robert Cade, Creator of Gatorade
Top 5 Playground Fights That Got Me Arrested For Filming Them From Across The Street
Kids these days are ruthless. Recess is a warzone, now. And, me? I see the truth. Am I unemployed? Yes. Single? Also, very much yes. But this footage? It’s legendary.
Alcoholics Should Coach Vulnerable Children And 5 Other True Lessons From ‘The Mighty Ducks’
We all know the story of hotshot lawyer Gordon Bombay and how his DUI forced him to coach hockey for at-risk youths as punishment. ‘The Mighty Ducks’ served as a
Fuck Fly Fishing: We Want To Catch Fish, Not Flies!
When self-described hobbyist Bobby Carver finally got his fishing license, he was too proud to turn down the Bass Pro salesman for a year of couples fly fishing classes. Carver,
We Take A Look At The Engorged, Necrotic Genitalia That Inspired The Stanley Cup
Every year the world’s best hockey players battle it out for a chance to hoist the Stanley Cup—but did you know that the world famous trophy was actually inspired by
Surprisingly Tender: Sports Riot Opens Up On Our One-Night Stand With Gritty
Here at Sports Riot, we like to sample the goods while we’re on the road, and over the years we’ve managed to suck and fuck our way through almost every
ISIS Buys PGA
In an unexpected move, the Professional Golfers Association made an announcement on Friday that “phase two” of merging with the Saudi-backed LIV Golf League, the organization had accepted a buyout
“I Should Kayak” And 5 Other Thoughts At Dick’s Sporting Goods That Cause Insurmountable Debt
Ever wander through a Dick’s and picture for yourself a brand-new life, one that has you paddling down some death-defying rapids? Truth is, you can have the rapids or the
Hide The Children: One Of The Flyers Players Got Blood On The Ice And The Taste Of It Has Activated Gritty
Chaos erupted today when Philadelphia Flyers mascot Gritty consumed a pool of blood on the ice, activating a never-before-seen primal rage that sent him on a 92-minute rampage that left