LESSER SPORTS
“We get to shit outside, just like the horses!”
–Kentucky Derby Fan, on how he looks at himself in the mirror
“As soon as I get into his weight class, I’m taking his ass down.”
–Jake Paul, on Pope Francis
Breaking: Gritty Bends Over On Ice To Give Birth To Smaller Amniotic-Fluid-Soaked Gritty
Onlookers at Wells Fargo Center were given a rare, beautiful glimpse into the natural world on Wednesday, as beloved Flyers mascot Gritty paused from riling up the crowd in the
America Decides: Gritty Overwhelmingly Wins Nevada Primary
In an unprecedented turn of events, Philadelphia Flyer mascot “Gritty” swept the Nevada primaries this past week to earn the state’s nomination for both Republican and Democratic parties in what
Long Live The King: Gym Teacher Wows Class By Dunking On 9-Foot Hoop
Second-grade students ran wild in disbelief after seeing legendary gym teacher Mr. Salisbury put on an unforgettable spectacle by jamming home a towering, show-stopping nine-foot dunk during this morning’s gym
Hear Us Out: NASCAR Kids
NASCAR got its start in the early days of bootleggin’ moonshine across state lines, but not much has changed since then. It’s still all just men driving in fast cars.
‘Icing’ And Three Other Hockey Penalties Named After Cake
As all hockey fans and Canadians are aware, Lord Stanley, after whom the NHL’s infamous championship trophy was affectionately named, was not only a steward of the game and a
Tennis Ball Boy Promoted To Junior Financial Advisor
Owing to his bland demeanor, lack of artistic aspirations, and surprising absence of Jewish heritage, local Burning Tree Country Club ball boy, Fletcher Mallison, 22, was promoted Sunday to Junior
Opinion: Goalies Should Have Access To A Crossbow
Growing up a young lad in Regina, Saskatchewan, hockey has always been in my blood. But what I noticed today from the comfort of my couch while watching Hockey Night
Bleak U.S. Health Report Concludes America Should Have Better Sumo Wrestling Team
A damning new report released today by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention concludes that despite being the most qualified nation on earth, America continues to lag behind other
