LESSER SPORTS

“I take a deep breath, count to ten, and then I punch ’em.”
-Conor McGregor, on anger management

“Tony Hawk paved the way for other skateboarding stars like me.”
-Some skateboarding guy that’s not Tony Hawk

We Acknowledge That Russia Is Set To Invade Ukraine, But Can We Talk For A Second About Fucking Andrew Wiggins Starting In The All-Star Game?
Things are looking grim on the Eurasian front, as more Russian troops are steadily assembling along the Ukrainian border. While Vladimir Putin claims his forces are deployed purely as a

Ballbags And Blow: Inside The Scandalous World Of The National Cornhole Championships
The year was 1981, and in the sex- and drug-fueled world of pro lawn sports, cornholers reigned supreme. The bad boys of the back yard hosted post-competition romps in which

Hulk Hogan’s New Sex Advice Column Asks You To Bust Open Those Pussy Problems For The Hulkster, Brother!!
The Hulkster is coming to you live from Cedar Rapids, IA, and he’s heard millions of Hulkamaniacs around the world are having love problems BROTHER. Is Lovemania running wild on

Hear Us Out: The Kiss Cam But For Faculty Meetings
School is back in swing! But, with supervisors speaking in monotone voices to announcements that could have just been sent through email, staff meetings suck. If you’re a manager what

White Threesome Of 30-Somethings Went Out And Had Really White Time Today
As confirmed by Instagram, a threesome of white 30-somethings hit the golf course, and the close white friends went out and had a really white time. “Part-tee day with the

Five Foolproof Techniques To Assert Dominance Over The Other Parents At The Soccer Jamboree
Studies show that you have 6.5 minutes to establish who the alpha family is at a suburban sports tournament. The moment you unload the minivan the clock starts ticking, so

5 Fun Facts About Pickleball You Can Casually Drop Into Conversation To Help Sell Your Cryptocurrency
If you’re like us, you woke up hungover after Super Bowl LVI only to realize you were tricked by that son of a bitch Matt Damon into drunkenly dumping your

Quiz: Do You Have What It Takes To Mentally Abuse Your Kid Until They’re A Tennis Star?
From Andre Agassi to Jennifer Capriati, we know that behind every great tennis star is a piece-of-shit dad. Take this quiz to find out if you have what it takes






