LESSER SPORTS
“And that’s why I’ve been backing into all of my parking spots for the last ten years.”
-Tiger Woods
“Who wants some? I’ll take you all on!”
-Billie Jean King, shouting at a group of old men in her nursing home
Duke Lacrosse Player Expelled After Campus Sting Operation Catches Him With Two Middle Class Parents
Who Saw That Coming? Gritty Absolutely Cleaning House On Christian Mingle
Hockey Mascot. Orange Prankster. Monster of God? In a move that many didn’t see coming, the Philadelphia Flyers beloved mascot Gritty is absolutely cleaning house on the Christian Mingle dating
Fans Rejoice! Bodybuilding Competition Finally Adds ‘Most Shrunken Scrotum’ Category
The International Fitness and Bodybuilding Federation announced today that they will be adding a “Most Shrunken Scrotum” category to competition, following years of outcry for its inclusion. The move comes
If This Were The Golden Era Of NHL Hockey, Would You Know?
What if I told you that absolutely insane, once-in-a-century things are happening in hockey right now? That’s right: What MJ and the Bulls did to the NBA in the ‘90s,
Nike Ends Relationship With Maimed Indonesian Factory Worker
A once-rising star in the textile game has seen his time at the Nike factory in Majalengka come to an unexpected end today when the sports apparel giant announced they
What “Happy Gilmore” Got Wrong About PGA Sanctioned Golf Fights
While the PGA recognizes that “Happy Gilmore” is the most realistic film depicting the lives of professional golfers — from their arrogance towards commoners to their undermining of non-Christians like
Family Minature Golf Outing Perfect Opportunity For Dad To Educate Son On Committing White-Collar Crime
Son, I didn’t just bring you out here today to enjoy nine whimsical holes on this championship miniature golf course at Pirate Pete’s Putt-Putt Palace. You’re what, nine years old
Hockey Ratings Finally Topple “Mike & Molly” Rerun
In a development sure to excite NHL executives, last night’s hockey game finally surpassed a TBS rerun of the sitcom “Mike and Molly” in the ratings. A source within NHL
This Year’s Swimsuit Issue Promises 153 More Tits!
We at Sports Riot have obtained an advance copy of the “Sports Illustrated Swimsuit 2023 Editor’s Letter,” detailing the magazine’s “big developments” for this year’s issue. We have published the