I’ll Spend Hours Researching For A March Madness Bracket, But I’m Sure As Shit Not Gonna Vote This November
Though I’ll spend hours crunching data, conducting polls, and watching game tape during the NCAA tournament this March, I can guaran-damn-tee you I’m not going to waste any time participating
5 Signs You’re Not Going To Win Your March Madness Pool Or Custody Of Your Kids
Sorry pal, but it looks like you’ve botched your March Madness pool — and any chance you had at a meaningful relationship with your kids outside of court-approved weekends. Here
Report: You’ll Still Be Terrible At Basketball In The Metaverse
A new study from the Pew Research Center confirmed Monday that despite your confidence in the Metaverse’s capacity to improve real life, you will still be terrible at basketball. Annie
NCAA Psychiatrists Now Believe Nation’s March Madness Symptoms Were Present As Early As Last November
Emerging evidence suggests that symptoms of the illness commonly known as ‘March Madness’ (martius insanus) may have been present in the U.S. as early as November 2021, according to NCAA
“You Can Do It” And Five Other Lies Personal Trainers Tell
Most people think a personal trainers job is to train customers to become stronger and fitter, but really, they only have one job: To lie. Here are some of the
Karate Chop Voted Greatest Move In History Of Combat Sports
After a decade-long study of kung fu masters, coaches, and the best fighters across disciplines, the greatest move in the history of combat sports has finally been revealed: the karate
Uptight Referee A Real Stickler For The Rules
After a long drawn out, albeit in depth, explanation of a little known rule; referee Todd Perkins confirmed the ruling on the field would stand and also confirmed what we
NFL Informs Philadelphia That Games Can Be Enjoyed Without Homicide
The NFL held a press conference in Philadelphia today to persuade the city’s fans that homicide is not necessary to enjoy sporting events. ⠀ The city’s notorious fan base, responsible
LeBron Wows Dinner Guests By Serving Ultra Rare 1962 Sprite Vintage
During a private dinner party at the James estate last weekend, soft drink connoisseur LeBron James wowed his guests with a rare 1962 Sprite vintage. Bottled at the original Coca-Cola
