Climate Scientists Expect Field Hockey To Overtake Ice Hockey By 2032
Signaling the need for immediate action to slow the potential catastrophic impacts of climate change on indoor and outdoor rinks worldwide, scientists today released their findings in a report that
“Extreme Basketball!” Shouts Vince McMahon Frantically Searching For Piece Of Paper
According to numerous witnesses present at the local Starbuck’s yesterday, WWE executive and XFL founder Vince McMahon, a patron during the morning rush, suddenly shouted “extreme basketball” before hurriedly looking
NFL Owners Release Joint Statement In Support Of Money
Responding to the financial unrest unfolding across the United States, NFL owners today released a joint statement bravely supporting the production, acquisition, and protection of money. “We find it reprehensible
Report: “Great Game” Deserves Some Ice Cream, Don’t You Think?
Wow, whatta game! That kind of performance deserves a McDonald’s cone or maybe even a Blizzard, don’t you think? ⠀ I gotta say, the red team played really well, but
No One At 49ers Zoom Meeting Going To Tell Richard Sherman He’s On Mute
A very unsurprising conflict has emerged within the 49ers’ current Zoom conference meeting, as multiple players are reporting that no one wants to inform fellow teammate, Richard Sherman, that his
World Series Of Poker Plagued By Betting Scandal
An FBI investigation into the World Series Of Poker (WSOP) has unearthed a massive betting scandal corrupting the event from the inside out. According to a report from the Bureau,
ESPN Wins Broadcast Rights To All Six Seasons Of “Becker”
After struggling to find programming to fill airtime, ESPN announced this week that they have acquired the broadcast rights to all six seasons of Becker, which will become a cornerstone
Is The Fighting Irish Mascot Insensitive To Ireland’s Well-Documented History Of Cowardice?
The Notre Dame Leprechaun presents an impossible dichotomy: How in the world does an institution like Notre Dame spit in the face of Ireland’s well-documented history of cowardice by presenting
PGA Tour To Add Social Class Distancing
As professional golf prepares to resume after a nearly three-month quarantine, the PGA Tour has outlined their plans for a safe return, which features a strong emphasis on social class
