
Joe Burrow Retires After Tumultuous Bengals Career
The city of Cincinnati was left reeling on Thursday, as star quarterback Joe Burrow, after a grueling, incredibly horrifying [four week] career with the Bengals, claimed that he could not

A-Rod Signs Lucrative 10-Year Contract With J. Lo
Twenty years after signing his record-breaking contract with the Yankees, Alex Rodriguez has just signed an even more lucrative deal, inking a massive 10-year deal with J. Lo with no

New York Yankees Fashion Week Just Pinstripes Again
This coming Saturday marks the return of the annual New York Yankees fashion show, where Yankees player-models and minor league affiliates will strut the runway in the latest Yankees attire.

Scalper Must Really Not Want To Go To Ball Game
This afternoon is a beautiful day for a ballgame, but this scalper must really not want to go. He’s offering $500 for one semi-obstructed, upper deck, mid-season Orioles ticket for

Rockies Power Rankings
It’s that time of year when we take stock of the latest movement in the hierarchy of the Rocky Mountains. Who is climbing? Who has peaked? Keep reading to find

Baseball Purists Still Lobbying For More Fat, Drunk Players
A group of baseball purists who believe the game has gotten too far away from its chubbier, more inebriated roots is continuing to lobby the MLB for harsh requirements on

MLB Suspends Slugger 10 Days For Using Jimmy Eat World’s “The Middle” As Walk-Up Music
Major League Baseball is sending a clear message; terrible music will not be tolerated in their stadium. League officials decided to come down hard on center-fielder, Caleb Weaver, with a

Relief Pitcher Sick Of Hearing About How Tired Starting Pitcher Is
After taking the mound in the bottom of the 7th inning last night, relief pitcher Tommy Laszlo told reporters he’s sick and tired of having to hear how exhausted the

Lonely Pitcher Really Appreciates Mound Visit
Returning to the bullpen on Friday night, San Diego Padres pitcher Chris Paddack mentioned to reporters how incredibly pleased he was that pitching coach Larry Rothschild and catcher Francisco Mejia
