Football
With other quarterbacks, it’s clear where they stand in the League. Lamar Jackson? Any analyst worth their salt will tell you he’s the Michael Vick of Steve Youngs. Aaron Rodgers? Clearly the Kyrie Irving of Brett Favres. But when it comes to Cowboys quarterback Dak Prescott, every body part on
Basketball
James Dolan accepted the “New York Knicks Owner of The Year Award” last night in a lavish ceremony at Madison Square Garden hosted by James Dolan, and attended by employees and reluctant family members of James Dolan, who were contractually obligated to be there. “There is plenty of competition for
Baseball
Following a near half-century career, Steroids will be joining the ranks of Babe Ruth, Ty Cobb, and Hank Aaron in the pantheon of all-time greats at the Baseball Hall of Fame, where the Baseball Writers’ Association of America announced it will induct Steroids later this year. The decision comes after
Lesser Sports
It doesn’t say anywhere in the rule books that a dog can’t drive a car, but at least for union officials at SAG-AFTRA, there might be a rule soon, as reports from the new ‘Air Bud’ movie claim over 30 stunt dogs have been brutally injured or killed so far
Football
In a surprise ruling, this Tuesday TCU athletic director Jeremiah Donati has decreed that all forms of man-to-man defense are an abomination in the eyes of God. “When God revealed unto Dr. Naismith the rules of basketball, he never intended for man to play one-on-one defense on another man,” said
Basketball
An Atlanta high school basketball coach believes his players must adhere to the basic fundamentals of basketball because he himself can probably not dunk. As a true basketball intellectual, his philosophy is to make the simple play, and any time a player goes for an “up-and-under layup” with no one
Baseball
The Woke Mind Virus. We laughed when brain-dead celebrities first introduced it. We wept when our government’s biased insistence on a “liberal” arts education spread it to our innocent children. But when it came to America’s institutions, we all naively thought we were safe. Sadly, this all got upended on
Lesser Sports
According to rumors circulated and later confirmed by Stephanie, the new talk of the Minnesota Wild’s Xcel Energy Center is the opposing team’s hockey net, which has scandalized the entire arena by totally opening its posts and, we swear to you, letting just about anything inside of it. “Ugh, gag
Football
The National Football League has announced it will be introducing CTE Unawareness Month this coming season. The league will promote the initiative using the hashtag #ForgetAboutCTE. All 32 franchises plan to show their support by outfitting their stadiums and player uniforms with foggy-gray patches which prominently feature the campaign’s slogan,
Basketball
24 years after its death in 1999, Wilt Chamberlain’s penis will be honored at Crypto.com Arena Thursday before the Lakers face the Spurs. Fans 18 and over will receive a commemorative bobble-penis-head figurine, the team’s largest giveaway in history. “We’ve been eyeing Wilt’s stilt for a long time,” said Crypto.com
Baseball
Speaking to a crowd of awed well-wishers from a consulting room in Beth Israel Hospital on Saturday, longtime New York Yankees fan Michael Solari said that he was incredibly honored to have just been diagnosed with Lou Gehrig’s disease. “I had Lou Gehrig’s poster on my wall growing up, but
Lesser Sports
A once-rising star in the textile game has seen his time at the Nike factory in Majalengka come to an unexpected end today when the sports apparel giant announced they wouldn’t pick up his sixth year option after he was maimed during a scaffolding collapse while on the Jordan assembly
Detroit Lions Advance To Super Bowl Watch Party
After a tumultuous playoff run, the Detroit Lions have officially advanced to the Super Bowl Watch Party. Fans and players alike are rejoicing after a hard-fought NFC Championship Watch Party.
NFL Announces Super Bowl LVI To Be A Best-Of-Three Series
After the addition of an 18th week in regular play netted the NFL countless millions in profit, the league has announced the Super Bowl will become a best-of-three series. Commissioner
Upset Alert: Fans Lose Pro Bowl
In a high-stakes matchup this past weekend, NFL Fans once again took a big loss against their opponent, the Pro Bowl. The Fans’ defeat comes on the heels of a
Pregnant Woman Glad She’ll Never Have To Experience Pain Of Double-Doinking A Playoff Field Goal
A three-time mother with one on the way is ecstatic that she’ll never have to experience the excruciating, soul-tearing pain of double-doinking a key playoff field goal. Danielle Salidino’s viral
Is Your Man Cave Even Complete If You Don’t Have Ted Williams’ Frozen Head In The Mini Fridge?
When it comes to watching the big game, the last thing I want to do is compromise. That’s why I make sure my space is entirely set up to entertain:
NFL Report Confirms Getting Concussed Is A Whole Vibe
The NFL announced Monday the findings of a rigorous review on the impact of repeated head trauma in relation to a person’s state of being, and the results overwhelmingly confirmed
Kevin Costner To Play The Ball In Upcoming Sports Movie
Kevin Costner might be the only actor to have played both sides of the battery, first as catcher in 1988’s “Bull Durham,” and then as pitcher in 1999’s “For the
CBS Interrupts Broadcast Of Jet-Jaguars Game To Bring You ‘Joe Versus The Volcano’
So you’re thinking about changing the channel, and we get it. Jets-Jaguars? Whose genius idea was it to schedule that on prime time? But stick around because things are about
5 NFL Quarterbacks Who Failed To Help Their Fans Beat Brain Cancer
Seven-time Super Bowl champ Tom Brady helped a 10-year-old fan beat brain cancer this past year. As usual, other QBs have tried to emulate TB12’s accomplishments to lackluster results. Here
