FOOTBALL

Stefon Diggs Grateful Most Patriots Fans Too Consistently Drunk To Remember He Used To Play For Rival Ream

“He had a missle crisis in his pants, too.”
–Virginia McCaskey, on her brief relationship with JFK

“Is Joy Taylor looking for employment??”
–Jerry Jones, frantically calling every number in his phone

Jacksonville Residents Gather To Debate Length Of Two-Minute Warning
Now that the football season is finally over, Jacksonville’s brightest minds met at city hall to debate the most important issue of their time: exactly how long is the two

Mel Kiper Cautions Colleagues It’s Never Too Early To Start Observing Young Men
Want to break through in sports journalism? Veteran ESPN football analyst Mel Kiper Jr. has one piece of advice for you: Start observing young men early — and often. Kiper,

Gronk Reveals Mount Rushmore of Dinosaurs
In this day and age, everyone seems to be creating and debating their own sports Mount Rushmores. So unsurprisingly, former NFL player and current Fox NFL Sunday cohost, Rob Gronkowski,

Pope’s Punk-Ass Been Awfully Quiet Since Divisional Round
Even though football is a religion for many Chicagoans, the Catholic community was still flabbergasted when Pope Leo XIV donned a Rome Odunze jersey and cheese grater foam hat in

Tua Brings Blue Tent Camping Just In Case
Dolphins quarterback Tua Tagovailoa stated in an interview Thursday that he intends to use the offseason to “find himself” in the wildernesses of Florida, and that he intends to pack

Peyton and Eli Pretty Awkward Around Each Other with No Monday Night Football to Talk About
It’s Monday. Despite ESPN’s “The Manningcast” becoming a smash hit due to Peyton and Eli Manning’s insightful football analysis and discussions. With the NFL season behind us, sources say the

Entire World Way Too Scared to Tell Maxx Crosby He’s Spelling His Name Wrong
Maxx Crosby is quickly carving a legacy for himself as one of the most feared players in the history of the NFL. His aggressive tendencies plus looking like an ex-con

Zac Taylor Wondering If Someone Forgot To Tell Him He’s Fired
As coaches in the AFC North fell, one man was left standing: Zac Taylor. He doesn’t have the rings or reputation of former rivals John Harbaugh and Mike Tomlin. He





