FOOTBALL

A Thirsty Jerry Jones Informs His Tinder Audience That ‘Spring Has Sprung And This Cowboy Is Hung’

“I think more people should throw the ball 75 yards downfield.”
-Patrick Mahomes, on strategy

Study: ED Medication Not Actually Capable Of Helping You Throw A Football Through A Tire Swing
An alarming new Duke University study has found that erectile dysfunction medications do not help its users throw a football through a tire swing, despite what television commercials for these

Gatorade Announces Return To Original Recipe
Declaring it the greatest advancement in hydration since the invention of bottles, Gatorade held a press conference this Thursday to announce they will be returning to a 100% pure gator

Pretty Cool I Guess: This Guy Who Played On The Bengals For Two Years Is Here To Talk To Your School About Something
In the world of sports journalism, there’s no such thing as a guarantee. Like sports, you’ve got to roll with the punches, or you’ll wind up getting knocked out. That’s

NCAA To Start Paying Players On All Teams Except For Tennessee Volunteers
In a stunning reversal of policy, NCAA President Mark Emmert confirmed on Thursday that the organization will begin compensating collegiate athletes on every team except for the Tennessee Volunteers. “The

Nick Bosa Becomes Self-Aware And Immediately Attacks His Captors
Visitors at Levi’s Stadium yesterday were put on high alert when the San Francisco 49ers returned from their Seattle road game and alpha defensive line specimen, referred to by the

QB Works Through Progression, Realizes He Hates All His Receivers
After receiving the ball from his trustworthy center, quarterback Robert Dixon quickly ran through three sequential receiving options before realizing that he absolutely despises all of his currently open targets.

California NCAA Athlete Looking Forward To Spending Endorsement Deal Money On Half Of Bio 101 Textbook
Energized by a new California law that will allow NCAA athletes to earn money from endorsements, Golden Bears running back Troy Layton told reporters for Cal’s student newspaper that he

NFL Films Makes Another Documentary About Football
Monday afternoon NFL Films announced their newest documentary and this time it’s all about football. Get ready for all the hard hitting football action you love coupled with world class






