An Apology From Our Editors: Will Levis Was Not The Shooter
Hello World. We, here at Sports Riot, have made a grave journalistic error and are here to own up to it. Will Levis was NOT the shooter, from yesterday’s events.
Opinion: How Much Ritalin Am I Allowed To Give My Child So He Can Appreciate My Baseball Card Collection?
These Gen Z kids. They can’t pay attention to anything longer than a TikTok, let alone a whole baseball game. So, to fully enjoy my rare baseball card collection, it
NFL Offseason Update: Titans Still Around
Despite many changes throughout the league during this NFL offseason, Sports Riot has confirmed from multiple sources that the Tennessee Titans “still exist.” A spokesperson for the Tennessee Titans released
Cubs Excited To Announce Wrigley Field Bleachers Mostly Piss Free!
Hey Cubs fans! The Cubs front office is pumped to announce that the Wrigley Field bleachers are almost 100% mostly piss free! Through the hard work of the Wrigley grounds
This Day In Sports History: Babe Ruth Calls Own Death
June 29th, 1932: It was game three of an away series with the Chicago Cubs when George Herman “Babe” Ruth — a day after “calling his own shot” — called
White Sox Really Proving You Can’t Win ’Em All
The 2024 season may only be almost four months in, but already the Chicago White Sox have gone above and beyond to teach the old children’s axiom “You can’t win
Report: Edmonton Oilers To Be Electric By 2040
Coming off the heels of a Stanley Cup Finals loss to the Florida Panthers last night, the Edmonton Oilers have announced a brighter, newer future. In an effort to become
Sorry Lovers: Fuckmonster Gritty Announces Engagement To Green M&M
Philadelphia’s most eligible Sex God, Fuckmonster Gritty, is off the market. Gritty, King of Mascots (KoM), has made public what we at Sports Riot have speculated for weeks: Gritty and
23AndMe Traces 67% Of World’s Lineage To Single Source
Scientists at the genetic testing site 23andME made a groundbreaking announcement this week, claiming to have found that a whopping 67% of the world’s population are direct descendants of a
