John Elway’s Dentist Retires At Age 31
After graduating from dental school and putting in five years of constant, round-the-clock work on her only patient, Dr. Maria Otsuka, John Elway’s personal dentist, has announced she will be
Hear Us Out: A Horny Jaguars Coach Who Also Wins Games
With the NFL Draft around the corner all eyes are on the first pick from the Jacksonville Jaguars. With Urban Meyer out, and Doug Peterson in the entire NFL community
Quiz: Which Disappointed NFL Franchise Best Describes Your Sex Life?
Is your sex life more “fourth-and-long” than “Red Zone”? This quiz might not snap your championship drought, but it will shed some light on which NFL team you are in
Hear Us Out: Sex, But With Doug Flutie
We know you haven’t thought about Doug Flutie in 20 years, and when he does cross your mind, it’s not about making sweet, sweet sex with him. Trust us, we
Study: American Football Gaining Popularity Among Britain’s Most Dogshit People
After 15 years of NFL games in London, American football is finally growing in popularity amongst Britain’s most dogshit people. According to a new study published in the renowned sociological
Top 3 Most Preventable Ping Pong Homicides
From its birthplace in the crime-ridden back alleys of Jack the Ripper’s London to the current referee-decapitation scandal, ping pong has always had a murderous underbelly. Here are three homicides
This Coach Has A Terminal Illness. It Hasn’t Stopped Him From Losing Every Game.
He may be looking thinner and paler than he once did, but as he hobbles the length of the court on Rhode Island Tech’s storied Providence campus, you wouldn’t know
Here Is Sports Riot’s Field Guide To Fingering An Umpire
Look, we’ve all been there: You get the chance to finger an umpire in the wild but your field guide hasn’t been updated since Pete Rose played for the Reds.
Breaking Barriers: This Trans US Men’s Soccer Player Is Equally As Terrible As Rest Of Team
American soccer and LGBTQIA+ communities rejoiced last week as trans male midfielder Theodore Donaldson proved he can play just as terribly as the rest of the U.S. Men’s team. It
