Bears Fan Too Drunk On Meat To Know They’re Losing
Smiling and laughing while wolfing down another sizable stack of ribs, Bears fan Arnold Boury was reportedly too drunk on meat to realize his team was getting shellacked during last
Department Of Defense Asks Ray Lewis To Stare Down The Taliban Through Zoom Calls
As U.S. forces finish their withdrawal from Afghanistan, the Department of Defense on Thursday held a briefing to assure Americans it will remain present in the region, thanks to a
Steroids Inducted Into Baseball Hall Of Fame
Following a near half-century career, Steroids will be joining the ranks of Babe Ruth, Ty Cobb, and Hank Aaron in the pantheon of all-time greats at the Baseball Hall of
Report: Rub Dirt On It
Breaking news out of the world of sports medicine; it is being reported that rather than laying there crying about being injured, athletes should instead rub some dirt on it
New York Jets 2021 Season Found Dead After Draft Overdose
Authorities today announced that the New York Jets NFL season was found unconscious outside the playoff picture of MetLife Stadium, confirming that the team’s 2021 season died tragically of a
Does A Gay Football Player Have What It Takes To Develop CTE?
Developing chronic traumatic encephalopathy takes years of rigorous training. Daily hits to the head. Consistent concussions. Never missing a trip to the ER. Only a select few NFL players have
Dabo Swinney Just One More Southern Metaphor From Signing This Five-Star Recruit
The college football world is on edge as Dabo Swinney remains one down-home country metaphor away from signing five-star recruit Jeremiah West. Today’s National Signing Day has thus far seen
Hear Us Out: Aaron Rodgers And The Packers Reconcile Their Differences And Also My Parents Get Back Together
Aaron Rodgers is back with the Pack for another year, but his relationship with management is incredibly strained. So wouldn’t it be great if the two sides could sit down,
Help! This NyQuil I Just Took Is Making Me Dream About Derek Carr!
I need help! The NyQuil I just took to treat my nighttime sniffling, sneezing, aching, coughing, stuffy-head, and fever, so I can rest is giving me terrifying dreams about Derek
