The Future Is Now, Old Man: 5 Designated Hitter Options For The Dodgers That Would Piss Off My Stupid Dad
Ever since I was a kid, my dad’s been crying about the “death of baseball.” Wild Cards, video replay, starters who “crap out” after five innings. Now that the NL
Hear Us Out: Arguments Between Baseball Umpires And Coaches Must End In Make-Out Session
Baseball is America’s pastime. We all know there is nothing better on a hot day than watching the boys of summer. However, we’ve noticed the tension between managers and umpires
The Best Jockstraps To Buy If Your Penis Is Really Just 3 Little Penises Stacked On Top Of Each Other In A Trench Coat
Finding the perfect jockstrap for one penis is hard enough, but what if you’re special and your penis is really just three little penises stacked on top of one another
We Rank Each ESPN Analyst Based On How Long We’d Wait Before Pulling Them From A Burning Car
An SUV full of ESPN analysts just collided with an overturned tanker truck and is now engulfed in flames. The fire department is twenty minutes away, so we’ve taken this
Helicopter Training Video Doesn’t Even Mention Kobe’s Stats
Letter after letter continued to funnel in expressing OUTRAGE to Boston Helicopters located in North Andover, MA. Lance Mulligan, Boston Helicopters facility owner, operator, pilot, and longtime Celtics fan released
Is Kevin Durant 5 Hall Of Famers Away From Another Title?
Some fans call him soft. Others, like Twitter user @DevinKurant argue he’s the greatest of all time. Since the superstar forward has lacked elite talent around him throughout his career,
Debate Time: Tom Brady Vs Joe Montana, But It’s 1792 Japan And They Both Have Throwing Stars
It’s a debate as old as time: Tom Brady vs. Joe Montana. Who would win? Who’s the greatest ever? We know what you’re thinking, dear reader. What if this was
Jacksonville Jaguars GM Mulls Over Which Prospect They Want To Ruin With 2023 No. 1 Pick
Sources close to Jacksonville Jaguars general manager Trent Baalke have reported that the team seems tantalizingly close to finalizing which college football player’s life they will decide to irrevocably destroy
NASCAR Disbands After Nissan Leaf Makes It Through Qualifying
The organization formerly known as NASCAR disbanded Thursday following the qualifying of its first-ever Nissan Leaf. The Daytona 500 takes the top 42 qualifiers of Bluegreen Vacations Duel’s 150-lap race;