Barack Obama and 5 Other Olympic Snubs
Despite leading our country for two terms as President, smoking weed in college, and killing Bin Laden, former president Barack Obama was not asked, dare we say “snubbed”, the ultimate
Opinion: I’m No Fan Of The Olympics, But I Don’t Think Killing The Athletes Is A Reasonable Alternative
Remember the 1972 Olympics? Jeez – those were the good ole days. Remember when only 11 of the 7,134 athletes were murdered? I have a particular bone to pick with
Embracing His Heritage: Michael Phelps Embarks On Birthright Trip
According to aquatic sources, 23 time Olympic winner, Michael Phelps, feeling the need to be around his family, has embarked on his annual pilgrimage. Although it is an arduous journey
Olympics “Anti-Sex” Beds Imported From Sport Riot Readers’ Bedrooms
YOU’RE A HERO!! In one of the country’s most inspiring acts of patriotism, Sports Riot readers have answered the call to send their sex–repelling beds to the brave athletes fighting
Disappointing: Opening Ceremony Just Leads To Olympics
I, Jimmy LaRue, am a red blooded American man. Do I like pomp and circumstance? Like apple pie, I do. So when I heard France was throwing some extravagant televised
‘Air Bud: Fur-mula 1’ Goes Through Record 30th Stunt Dog
It doesn’t say anywhere in the rule books that a dog can’t drive a car, but at least for union officials at SAG-AFTRA, there might be a rule soon, as
Cult Starting To Feel Like A Yoga Class
As concerned initiates of the Sacred Messengers of Isaiah religious cult were silently led from the Main Compound into an indoor dance studio smelling suspiciously like patchouli oil, they noted
Jerry Jones Announces Bid For Presidency
In a shocking turn of events, Jerry Jones, Dallas Cowboys owner, has announced his bid for Democratic Nominee in this year’s 2024 presidential election. Surrounded by Cowboys cheerleaders, Jones stepped
We Give Up: What Do YOU Think Happened In Tennis This Week?
We turned on tennis last week and we’ll admit it: intrusive thoughts of driving our Volvo Hybrid off local cliff “Satan’s Gorge” dominated our cerebrum. So. Here we are. Did
