
Local Man’s Divorce Brought To Him By FanDuel
Hey fans, if you love custody battles, listen up! The county sheriff has served local man Jackson DeCamp with a robust stack of divorce papers today brought to him by

Switch Hitting Outlawed Under New Georgia Bill
Following weeks of intense debate between originalists and batting activists, Georgia lawmakers today passed a sweeping piece of legislation that outlaws switch-hitting. A 34-22 vote ensures batting averages for 3.5%

45-Year-Old Caddy Swore This Would Just Be A Summer Job
Despite swearing that his job at Ridge Country Club would only be for the summer in between freshman and sophomore year in high school, friends of Chet Richards say the

Does MJ At 58 Still Have What It Takes To Punch Steve Kerr?
Look, we get it. The man is 58 years old. He hasn’t played professional basketball since 2003. Decades of smoking cigars and drinking whiskey have turned him soft and doughy.

That’s Weird: Why Hasn’t This Raiders Fan Stabbed Me Yet?
I’ve come totally prepared. It’s Sunday, I’m at a bar in Las Vegas, and there’s a Raiders fan sitting right next to me. Now, there are always variables in any

LeBron Lives Up To ‘King James’ Nickname By Releasing His Own Authorized Version Of The Bible
LeBron James announced today in a press conference held on the parapets of his new $36.75 million castle in Los Angeles that he has taken his talents to biblical scholarship

Physicists Discover Secret To Making Speed Skater’s Bulge Completely Aerodynamic
In a breakthrough that promises to revolutionize the world of speed skating, researchers at MIT’s distinguished Department of Bulge Studies have finally discovered a way to make the unwieldy crotch

Planet Fitness Founder Reveals There Really Is A Planet Called “Fitness” Where Everything Is A Disgusting Shade Of Purple
The founder of Planet Fitness stunned the world today by revealing that there actually is a planet called “Fitness” several light-years away from the Milky Way galaxy where everything is

Batboy Becomes Batman After Batmitzva
Last Saturday, the Chicago Cubs family celebrated Batboy Simon Rosenberg’s BatMitzvah where he became a Batman following traditional Baseball doctrine. The rite of passage featured Simon reading the infielder portion
