Phoenix GM Addresses Rumors That Suns Could Be Leaving In 5 Billion Years
Phoenix Suns GM James Jones held a press conference today to address rumors that the Suns might be departing the city, and known universe, in five billion years. “The Suns
Section 310 Forced To Sit And Watch As Section 311 Wins Free Chipotle For A Month
Halftime. Last night. The big game. Fans were completely enthralled and entrenched in a game they’ve all been waiting for and came together as one to cheer for the home
Rags-To-Riches Skateboarding Phenom Recalls Practicing In Empty Above-Ground Swimming Pool
Although her life is now filled with only the finest of hand-crafted cement bowls, pro skateboarder Emily Nakahara’s claims she never would have become skating’s ‘Grand Governess Of Gunite’ were
Meet The Billy Beane Of Archery
Fresh out of Oakland, California, bow-jockeys and fletch-heads across the country are going crazy for a new and unlikely hero, whom many have already crowned the “Billy Beane” of competitive
Shaq Accidentally Tears Down Backboard In Red Lobster Bathroom
Staff and patrons alike were shocked on Tuesday when Shaquille O’Neal completely tore down the backboard of a toilet while going for two. “I was serving biscuits when I heard
Player Faces Disciplinary Action After Basketball Hits Mom’s Car
After violating league rules Saturday by hitting mom’s 2018 Honda Odyssey with a basketball, the Herro household has imposed strict disciplinary actions on 16-year-old Tyler. Despite Tyler’s claims that “it
Amazing: This Former Olympian Found A Job
In a stunning and rare turn of events, a former Olympian has landed a job despite having no skills or training applicable to the real world. Following the footsteps of
Confusing Trash Talk Oddly Impersonal
During last night’s game, Clippers guard Patrick Beverly’s oddly impersonal trash talk reportedly confused his Lakers opponents. “After missing a basket, he shouted ‘someone out here’s a mother****er,’” commented Markieff
Ultimate Frisbee Team Mom Brings Weed Slices For Post Game Snack
For Dalton Woods, 32, and his group of friends, Sunday Morning Ultimate just got so much better after his mom came through with weed-slices after a sick set of games
