Aaron Rodgers Dies Of Sensitivity Training
Jets officials confirmed that New York quarterback Aaron Rodgers suffered a fatal reaction to a sensitivity training seminar earlier today. The mandated event was aimed to help Jets players understand
Top 5 Times Mr. Met Got Away With Vehicular Manslaughter
Look. We know what you’re thinking. It’s time to celebrate the Mets – they’re in the playoffs and have a chance! Our good conscience couldn’t stand idly by. And sure,
BREAKING: Jared Goff’s Perfect Performance Confirms Reality Is A Simulation
In the Lions thrilling victory over the Seattle Seahawks last night, Detroit’s triumph sent two messages to the rest of the league. 1) Detroit is a contender in the playoffs;
Daniel Jones Disappointed In Giants For Starting Him
After boasting a no-touchdown losing performance against division rival, Dallas. Daniel Jones addressed the local media, “We need to be putting ourselves in better situations.” Jones, visibly upset, continued, “The
Andy Dalton Has Fucked 136 Carolina Residents Since Sunday
Carolina has a new sex-God. The “Red Rifle” has reportedly “unloaded” on 136 Carolina residents. And, counting! “Guys, gals, and everyone else in Carolina can’t not fuck me right now,“
Its Official: Myers-Briggs Creates Unique Category For Type Of Loser Dak Prescott Is
Since its conception in 1944, the Myers-Briggs Personality Test (MBPT) has never changed, until now. Research found that the famed test couldn’t measure just how much of a massive fantastical
Opinion: Sexual Predators Shouldn’t Be Allowed To Play Football If They Suck By: Ben Roethlisberger
I, Big Ben Roethlisberger, am disgusted. With 24 allegations of sexual misconduct and a fresh accusation this month, DeShaun Watson remains a starting quarterback for the Cleveland Browns, despite the
Cleveland Browns Sign Sean ‘Diddy’ Combs
BREAKING: Sports Riot has learned and is reporting the Cleveland Browns have signed Sean ‘Diddy’ Combs to a four-year $100 million contract. “The Browns have a strong culture of sexual
Hurry Up! The White Sox Are Giving Free Copper Piping To The First 200 Fans At Today’s Game
Step right up! Step right up! Come have some southside copper piping! Feel like a loser? So do we! In fact, over a hundred times over, so here’s some copper
