MLB Trade Deadline Passes With Liberation Of Only Three Rockies
The July 31st MLB trade deadline came and went. And with it, the great hope of family and friends turned to deep sorrow as only three Rockies were freed from
Vlad Guerrero Jr. Furious To Learn He’s Being Paid In Stupid Canada Money
On April 17 of this year, power hitting Vlad Guerrero Jr. signed a record-setting 14-year, $500 million contract extension with the Toronto Blue Jays, including a reported signing bonus of
Bills Mafia Puts Hit On Mahomes, Bullet Misses Wide Right
Patrick Mahomes may be a made man in Chiefs Kingdom, but that didn’t stop Bills Mafia from putting a hit on the future Hall of Famer. Buffalo big boss Sean
NASCAR Driver Banned From School Drop-Off Again
The engine roars. The Castrol Oil logo glistens on the hood. The tires of the baddest, meanest ’94 Chrysler minivan screech. It’s 7am. And ex-NASCAR driver Jeremiah Richard continues to
NBA Warns Ja Morant Is Just Days Away From Developing Nuclear Weapons
Following two tumultuous seasons with several arms violations, NBA intelligence officials have warned that Ja Morant is merely days away from successfully developing nuclear weapons in order to decimate Earth
BREAKING: Stanley Cup Arrested In Florida For DUI
“Do you even know who I am?” slurred the 133-year-old Stanley Cup to a Broward County patrol officer after being pulled over for DUI late Friday night. According to a
Trump Threatens To Pull Funding From Tight End University
Continuing his battle with institutions of higher education such as Harvard, Columbia, and the historically black Cornerback State, President Trump announced today that he intends to withhold all federal funding
Jets and Sauce Gardner Agree to Four-Year, Five-Win Deal
In a groundbreaking deal for the New York Jets, the team and All-Pro cornerback Sauce Gardner agreed to a deal keeping the star locked in the green abyss for the
BREAKING: Turns Out Baseball Was Invented In Tibet; America Invades
A new study out of Vanderbilt, claiming that Tibet invented baseball, shocked the White House and left the U.S. with no other option but to invade. United States military fired
