Kenyan Tourist Accidentally Wins Marathon
Appearing disoriented and confused as he crossed the finish line, Kenyan tourist Kitwana Onyongo won the Chicago Marathon this Sunday without realizing that he was running it. “I heard a
All 32 NFL Franchises Announce They’re Moving To London
In a move to broaden the global reach of the NFL, this Wednesday each of the league’s 32 teams announced their plans to relocate to London before the start of
Winner of Underwater Breath-Holding Competition Remembered as Hero
Neighbors and loved ones gathered poolside at the Warren County Recreational Center on Saturday to pay respects to local sports hero, Ryan Griffiths, 13, who won the 4th Annual US
Study: More MLB Players Are Ditching The Dugout In Favor Of Individual Holes
Surprising research from the Elias Sports Bureau has shed light on a new trend in professional baseball, showing that around thirty-five percent of the league’s players have now left the
Something Is Wrong: “Sk8er Boi” Played Three Times Over Stadium Speakers
Authorities are reporting that the song “Sk8er Boi” by Avril Lavigne was played three times in a row during Sunday’s matchup, causing mass panic and hysteria among spectators, staff and
Dad Comes Alive During Sports Section Of Trivial Pursuit
Suddenly taking interest in the match after zoning out during the first hour and a half of the National Trivial Pursuit Championship, this Thursday local dad Patrick Gilson propelled his
Ragtag Group Of Fun-Loving Misfits Absolutely Destroyed By Rich, Athletic Kids
A ragtag group of fun-loving misfits from the wrong side of the tracks was handedly destroyed by a team of rich, athletic kids during last Saturday’s 12-Year-Old Division Little League
Suspicious New Tour De France Route Includes Path Through Steroid Factory
The illustrious Tour De France is underway once again and showing why it’s still the tour de force of cycling, though this year, some have found it suspicious that this
MLS Commissioner: “We Need At Least Twenty More People Watching For This To Be Worth It”
After attracting a record-breaking thirteen fans per game in the past two seasons, the nation’s favorite professional male-only American soccer league is in financial ruin. “We need at least twenty
